Monday, September 01, 2008

Ramadanian Post

Get yer prayers rugs out 'cause it's time to be good again! I'm not actually feeling this year's Ramadan. It's probably the weather though. I think you can break your fast with this darned humidity. Friggin' lethal stuff out there. I was called out on my cussage so I think I'm going to take it down a notch because of our lovely, close-knit society.

Ramadan is a great way to catch up on relatives' goings-on, like who's looking like they've got a little bun in the oven, who's scurrying off to an abandoned room with their eyes fixated on their cell phone's text message before coming back to the packed living room looking aloof and sweaty under the few observers' leering eyes, who gained or lost weight, who graduated, who failed miserably, who was stupid enough to hack off her gorgeous hair to an unflattering bob, who got a funky looking new nose, the pimply preteen cousin whose voice has just started to crackle, the eternal bachelor with a wandering eye, the eighteen year old stud who thinks he's the hottest piece of macho meat in town, the newlyweds, the newly divorced, the weird cousin who just sits there and sulks, the outlandish visitors who attract strange looks from almost everyone in the guest room, the beautifully fat babies who you just want to squish, the nanny that looks like a serial killer, aunts' timeless, hearty laughs, the one who wore the most stunning dara3a, the glowing face of grandma, the ten year old piece of shit that needs to be slapped around a few times, the wonderfully witty elderly you visit a couple times a year.

Actually, I think I am ready for this month. I still don't have a new dara3a yet. Crap. That's okay right? Crap I mean? Ramadan friendly no? I always thought to myself, "What if I accidentally curse in my head? Would that be Ramadanian foul play?" You know what, I am sticking to "crap." It's a fine, fine word to use this month. I'll be potty-mouthing it again when eid comes along.

Have a wonderful Ramadan people :)


MP3's...
Herbaliser - Sensual Woman
RJD2 - A Beautiful Mine
Kruder & Dorfmeister - Going Under (Kruder & Dorfmeister Session Main Mix)

at 9:00 AM

18 Comments

  1. Blogger Shurouq posted at 9:20 AM  
    Hehe mbarak 3alaich e'shahar Erzulie. Hareesa is my Ramadan curse word.
  2. Blogger Abi-Omi-Abi-Oboy posted at 10:20 AM  
    Bs heyy u said sh!t tawa :P LOOOOl ;P

    Wanasa Imthe first to comment, yet again (a)
  3. Blogger Jandeef posted at 11:14 AM  
    I wish there is an "auto delete" option for fake, meaningless SMS greetings.

    Mbarak 3alaich elshahar :)
  4. Blogger kila ma6goog posted at 11:29 AM  
    كل عام و انتي بخير


    ميارك عليج الشهر
  5. Blogger Purgatory posted at 11:59 AM  
    Merry Ramadan to you too, the post misses a drawing and how come I have not beeen " drawn " for a while?
  6. Blogger Purgatory posted at 12:03 PM  
    no cartoon series this year?
  7. Blogger Erzulie posted at 2:45 PM  
    shurouq: 3alaina oo 3alaich :) i read your comment before i took off today in the morning. i thought about your hareesa bit when a, erm, someone, swerved in my lane. true story. i might try it out. might seem weird if i keep on using it though. i'd rather say potato. it's cuter :P POTATOOOOOOOO!!! yeah, that's better.

    abi: yes i did. then again, i wrote up my post prior to the first call of ramadanian prayer so i think i'm safe :P

    jandeef: waste of money. o 3alaina oo 3alaik :)

    kila: winta eb alf khair ya kila ma6goog :) the other day i was thinking about you. what if someone knows your blog and doesn't like what you write, goes up to you and smacks you around before justifying their actions based on your name i.e. kila ma6goog. you might attract crazed individuals, hmm, just a thought i wanted to say...

    purgatory: i actually thought about that. let me think...well, if i do something i don't want it to concern you because i don't want to offend you if it goes out of hand so...but i do think it's time for a lil' cartoon :) i also thought that you would be the only person who'd say that! :P~ but i'm grateful that you did :)
  8. Blogger Jelly Belly posted at 3:04 AM  
    Embarak 3aleech al Shahar 7abebty... hahahaha loved your post in every family you have the people you described! I kind of miss it some times.... the thing I miss the most is sitting with my family after fo6oor joking about stuff and complaining about mom and her addiction to mosalsalat Ramadan!!
  9. Blogger Delicately Realistic posted at 3:35 AM  
    Loved ur description...i think every family has almost all of those.

    Mbarak 3alaich ilshahr :)
  10. Blogger Ms. Baker posted at 2:24 AM  
    Imbarek 3laych il-shahar oo 3asach men 3owada Erzuliya :)

    How I have really missed you and your inimitably smart and bitingly witty posts! There's no one like you sweetie :) And this one was no exception.

    I am so very sorry for the delay in emailing you. My .mac email server went haywire last month and I have just received almost a whole months worth of emails all at once. Sam7eeni :)

    On the subject of curse words: I have a few favorite dubious substitutes that come in handy during Ramadan. These are "crapola" and "schnitzel" as in: "Holy schnitzel! Is that spectacular piece of crapola Fawazeer on tv AGAIN this year??? "

    Oh, and this one I appropriated from a Simpsons episode is so cathartic when muttered under the breath during times of abject agitation (like driving):

    "Holy Flurking Schnit!"

    (But I would not advise bandying that one about during Ramadan... it's kinda a little too close to the real thing...
    Aaaah... Maku fayda... I am just a hopeless incorrigible closet potty mouth :/ )
  11. Blogger Erzulie posted at 4:06 AM  
    jelly: 3alaina oo 3alaich :) i'm lovin' the after futoor chatter too :)

    dr: 3alaina oo 3alaich :)

    ms.baker: i was wondering where you disappeared to! 3alaina oo 3alaich :) and yes, the last one may be too close to the real thing! :P~ crapola though is sa-weet! wait, it sort of sounds like ebola...euw.
  12. Blogger 3abeer posted at 9:44 PM  
    i guess we all have those types of relatives ;)

    ...you just said a bad word Erzulie... shame on you :P

    my friend's mom used to always say "if you curse.. I will wash ur mouth with soap and water" !!

    mbarak 3alaich el shahar love ;**
  13. Blogger Bodie Broduas posted at 2:18 AM  
    I was called out on my cussage <--- those who think Erzulie cusses should check out my little blog spot :p

    As for viable Ramadan curse words, excrement anyone? Refers to crap, but is the "medical term" for it, so viable no? Although it doesn't roll as easily on the tongue as the other four letter words in the english lexicon.
  14. Blogger Yawarakai posted at 3:31 AM  
    hahahaha.. i loved that!! i miss ramadan back home!!
  15. Blogger Erzulie posted at 11:19 PM  
    3abeer: bad word, schmad word. life goes the !@#$ on. i'd need a whole box of Ariel every day if i were to be included in the soap washing ritual. and 3alaina oo 3alaich :P

    bodie: yeah bit of a tongue twister

    yawa: yeah it is something to be missed, sans the traffic that makes your blood pressure hit the roof
  16. Anonymous Anonymous posted at 8:37 PM  
    I love you my erzulie poopooti!!
  17. Blogger The Universal Refusenik posted at 5:37 PM  
    Are daraas something you wear exclusively for Ramadan ?

    Happy Ramadan and Happy Fasting!
  18. Blogger Erzulie posted at 2:41 PM  
    anon: and i love you too you crazed little anonymous reader!

    universal: well, ramadan is the season for dara'as. my mother usually wears them around the house all year long but during ramadan, almost all women from all ages get into their dressy dara'as before they go out and visit relatives and sometimes, friends. although some dara'as are extremely beautiful (some look like evening gowns) they're not something you can go out in public with. it's mostly an "at home" attire, regardless of it's tag price.

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