Sunday, November 20, 2005

The Harlot

I rarely attend Kuwaiti gatherings here, but this past September, I felt a bit obligated to meet and greet the newcomers and welcome them to the urbanizing ghetto of a city we are located in. I also heard that there was a new girl who had just transferred to my university after a semester’s worth of English language classes tucked under her thick, studded belt.

I walked into the balmy, reserved party room that reeked of the ‘qoozi’ the boys had ordered. And there she was; a pretty, wide-eyed eighteen year old sitting amidst the pool of young men; I smiled at her and strode over to one of the pint-sized girls and engaged in idle small talk. Soon enough, the new girl – I’ll just call her Harlot for confidential reasons – bounced in. We continued yakking until suddenly, the Harlot turned to me in titters.

Harlot: (loudly) Wow! Mashallah intay tara wayed 6oweelaahh! 6a3 il farg beinich oo bein *pint-sized girl*!”

I laughed it off and joked that I can get away with my kitten-heels in the U.S. because most Kuwaiti men would reach my kneecaps if I wore heels more than two inches.In a slightly seriously tone, she replied, “La2. 7ata 6oolich ib Amreeka moo 6abe3i.”

Now keep in mind the muggy room is packed with Kuwaiti guys.
I dismissed her comment. Hell, I just met the girl.

With Harlot seated to my right, I assumed my social appropriateness during lunch. She interrupts me mid-sentence, Hatha sijeee?” she asked, pointing to the tattoo on my pulse point.

Me: La2. I got it from ‘Claire’s.’”
Harlot: Ahh. Moo 7ilo.”
She reaches over and touches my hair, Sha3rich imqa9af.”

I restrained myself from exercising any sort of verbal combat with this vermin who sported low-waist jeans that exhibited all the three, fluorescent bands of her g-string.

As the eldest and only female driver, I felt sorry for the girls and offered to take them out to see a movie. We decided on ‘The 40 Year Old Virgin.’ After driving twenty minutes to the theater with five, raucous girls, we ended up leaving fifteen minutes after the picture started because one of the girls was 'offended' by the movie’s content.

I drove back and dropped the unruly bunch at a café near our complex. Everyone bounded out of my car. Everyone except Harlot. She remained in the backseat, situated in the center.

“Ana baroo7 ma3a Erzulie na9fi6 il sayara winyeekom.”
I was indifferent; my apartment was across the street anyway, so I shrugged it off and started to roll onto the pavement.

All of a sudden, Harlot squealed, Whaaaay chinich my driverrr! Yallah Babu! Go to the right! Go to the right!” She jutted her hand in my face, waving it rightwards.

I had two choices: I could grab her by the hair and slam her head on my rigid arm rest and paw her eyeballs out. I sucked in my breath and chose option number two; I turned around and faced her, this tart I’ve known for a mere three hours, and firmly said, “Intay minsijich?”

Harlot giggled.

Harlot squirmed in her place.

Screw the Harlot.

at 8:42 AM


  1. Blogger Jewaira posted at 9:20 AM  
    Haha, ee wallah "Intay min sidjich!"
    She's got ALOT to learn.
    And you have the patience of an angel ;)
  2. Blogger Erzulie posted at 9:46 AM  
    Jewaira: Heh, well I've been avoiding their little immature group, mostly because I have a ton of work this semester but on the other hand, I just don't feel like dealing with it all...and ps...that's not the only time she was 'fiesty.' More to come...
  3. Blogger Jandeef posted at 9:46 AM  
    Hehehe cute :P

    How old is she, if i may?
  4. Blogger Jandeef posted at 9:48 AM  
    Nice new look on the blog btw! Much more welcoming and refreshing than black =)

    Jewaira too. I'm feeling jealous now!
  5. Blogger Erzulie posted at 9:58 AM  
    Jandeef: 18. It's so strange how two years make THAT much of a difference. I really don't believe that she's nasty; I mean I KNOW that she can be sweet and nice but I don't understand the understated snarky remarks she makes...there have been other incidents but I didn't include them in this post...because they accumulated everytime I ran into her. Strange...I'm not used to dealing with this species.
    Oh thank you :) Actually, I really don't know how this came about; I just fiddled around, changed some colors around and went back and forth from the settings to the blog itself to look at what I actually altered.
  6. Blogger Q posted at 10:19 AM  
    hahahaha lucky u mama erzulie ;P
  7. Blogger Erzulie posted at 10:27 AM  
    Q: Yeah well, I think I'm going to abandon my "kids" for the time being.
  8. Blogger Ms.Baker posted at 11:03 AM  
    Hehe...! Been there, done that too, felt as you did...

    Wear your height with pride, honey :) I'm sure I'm not as tall as you are ( although I am tall for a Kuwaiti girl). Harlot is jealous, and will not go very far, you will see.

    MsB, who has seen her share of harlots invade her sacred educational haven in the US when she was a student too, and stopped going to any function requiring socializing with Kuwaiti's in order to retain some semblance of peaceful thought.
  9. Blogger Jandeef posted at 11:15 AM  
    Yea i don't think she's nasty either. It's just her way maybe of being funny or friendly. Time will teach her alot.

    Is this a blogspot template
  10. Blogger Kthekuwaiti posted at 11:28 AM  
    How come none of these people went to my University. We would get the shy girls who havent seen the city after the sun sets. I would have taken the 'harlot' to Detroit and left her there. That usually makes a person add a couple years very quickly.
  11. Blogger William posted at 11:29 AM  
    Wow, you DO have the patience of a Saint.

    What does minsijich (minsij?) mean?

    They ruin your movie, act immature, and sound like they need tranquilizers.
  12. Blogger Closet Diva posted at 11:47 AM  
    I really admire your patience, lo minich chan 9akait-ha 6rag min awal ma she belted with the height comment.

    btw, height is a gift, wala ni3ma min allah, it makes clothes look extra fab-u-lous, and its not ur problem that other people are short!
  13. Blogger Erzulie posted at 11:50 AM  
    MsBaker: I'm 5'9 :/ I'm sorta average here in the US but I'd be condemned in Kuwait if I wear any heels. Yeah, my mom said that she was jealous ("Mi7tara hathee wakhray 3anha") but I really don't see why...I mean she's pretty and all...I feel like a guy now because I seriously don't get some girls!

    Jandeef: Yeah it is but I sorta played around with it. And no I seriously don't think she's nasty...but she wasn't friendly either! I don't's hard to place her personality...but I hope she grows up because she seems pretty nice...

    TheKuwaiti: What's your address? I'll ship her over... :P And I think she's more "sly" than "shy" if you know what I mean...

    William: Sorry I really don't mean to discriminate! "Minsijich?" means "Are you serious?" By the way, do you understand what the other stuff means? I was going to star and caption everything said in Kuwaiti, but that sort of detracts from the know what I mean :) I don't know if I'm a patient person, but I kind of knew what she was all about and that she didn't really 'mean' what she was saying...she's still a eighteen surprisingly...give her two years and she'll be set...hopefully.
  14. Blogger Erzulie posted at 11:52 AM  
    CD: Height is a gift out of Kuwait. In Kuwait, it's looked at as an abnormality sometimes! And about the chick...well, I guess time will tell...but seriously, they're so immature. And going with Q's comment, sometimes I do feel like a mom around them.
  15. Blogger Kthekuwaiti posted at 12:34 PM  
    7asafa .. Semester too late, back in Kuwait now. Although, if she keeps getting on your nerves .. I know a couple of people in Detroit who can take care of it. :P
  16. Blogger D.N.A posted at 12:46 PM  
    definately went through that in college, my token once in a semester (year even) kuwaiti gathering appearance. and im talking boston so they thought i was crazy for not playing coat in armani cafe every night. they had the repellent effect of anchovies on a ceasar salad. As for her age it aint no excuse----if its old enough to bleed, its old enough to butcher! kidding relax:)
    actually not...and LOL when i read VERMIN!!
  17. Blogger Erzulie posted at 1:06 PM  
    K-Kuwaiti: Haha...You know, I've always wanted to go to a 'Rap Battle' in Detroit...One of my HS classmates is in Detroit and he says there are some places he has never ventured in...Hmmm...

    DNA: Boston? That's like a tiny Kuwait. As well as a little bit of Saudi thrown in for good measure. I don't deliberately dodge the Kuwaiti clique here...well for one, the guys outnumber the girls. Two, I just don't like the 'Mother Hen' role I'm always in. They're so loud! And I'm not talking about Kuwaiti arrogance, they're just loud kids! Screaming on campus, laughing in an absurdly loud manner...I'm this close *index next to thumb* to tell the girls to act like women!
  18. Blogger Purgatory posted at 1:15 PM  
    you need to fix font size on your template and commments section.

    As for post, do not hang around with kids.
  19. Blogger Erzulie posted at 1:29 PM  
    Purg: Firstly, I'm amazed that you to the time out and actually read this; I know how you detest long posts :P
    And what's wrong with the font? Mine seems okay...confirmations from anyone else? Hmm...I have to check up on that :) Merci bien...and yeah, I'm done babysitting...
  20. Blogger Equalizer posted at 1:32 PM  
    In a situation like this, I'll drive to the nearest ghetto where the possibility of murder or rape is close to 99%, drop her off and leave. The good thing about it, you can never be charged for it.

    How come I never thought of that before ?
  21. Blogger Erzulie posted at 1:37 PM  
    Equalizer: TSK TSK! Bismillah 3alal bint! I don't want any traumatic, life-changing event to happen to her! Well, life-changing in a good way maybe...Man, I'd hate to be on your bad side :P~
  22. Blogger Purgatory posted at 2:43 PM  
    I think its the template or maybe IE
  23. Blogger Erzulie posted at 2:56 PM  
    Purg: IE?
  24. Blogger William posted at 4:01 PM  
    Nah, dont understand all of the rest of it, but a few of the words. Could you translate :) I didn't want to be a pain.
  25. Blogger William posted at 4:02 PM  
    IE = internet explorer
    ff = firefox
  26. Blogger Jacqui posted at 4:58 PM  
    Seriously, Ugh I would've chose option one :/ I don't actually have much patience, enough to last me through specific events but when it just goes overboard I turn all red and burst :r
  27. Blogger Temetwir posted at 5:16 PM  
    heh sh'hal belsha?
    nemaayen allah y3eenich
  28. Blogger dishevelled posted at 6:17 PM  
    LOL!....waaay maskeena you ily you had to put up with her! She really should get a hold of herself...
  29. Blogger Sedna posted at 11:24 PM  
    LOL I'm 5"8 so I know exactly what you're talking about :P
  30. Blogger Erzulie posted at 12:25 AM  

    "Qoozi" = Kuwaiti dish.

    "Wow! Mashallah intay tara wayed 6oweelaahh! 6a3 il farg beinich oo bein *pint-sized girl*!" = "Wow! You know you're really tall! Look at the difference between you and *pint-sized girl*!"

    "La2. 7ata 6oolich ib Amreeka moo 6abe3i." = "No. Even in the US your height is considered abnormal."

    "Hatha sijeee?" = "Is this real?"

    "La2. I got it from Claire’s." = "No. I got it from Claire's"

    "Ahh. Moo 7ilo." = "Oh. It's not nice."

    "Sha3rich imqa9af." = "Your hair has a lot of split ends."

    "Ana baroo7 ma3a Erzulie na9fi6 il sayara winyeekom." = "I'm going to park the car with Erzulie and we'll be right there."

    "Whaaaay chinich my driverrr! Yallah Babu! Go to the right! Go to the right!" = "Oooooh! You're like my driver! Come on Babu! Go to the right..."

    "Intay minsijich? = "Are you serious?"

    Ah, there you go! All right, I think I've learned my lesson...I'm gonna put lil' translations here and there for ya :)
  31. Blogger Erzulie posted at 12:29 AM  
    Jackie: Well yes. I actually do have a lovely temper but it comes out once in a blue moon. The thing is, if I knew this girl I would've been more harsh but I just met her!

    Temetwir: Heh, thanks :)

    Disheveled: In time, in time...inshallah her underdeveloped actions will catch up to her adult undergarments...

    Sedna: Crap. I know dammit! I mean once someone actually told me, "Why are you wearing heels?" I love heels! I only wear my six inch heels in the US though...hee hee Kuwait, it's back to almost kitten heels and tennis shoes...*harumph*
  32. Blogger D.N.A posted at 1:38 AM  
    hehe index next to thumb, as the italians would say in an american accent, "molto americano" :) listen, the rodents will adapt to their environ sans emotion, take their cheese away and they will look for more immediately, unlike humans...whos sulking at the loss of 'cheese' leeds to being left behind. BASICALLY SEEFONE O INSAIHOM, the vermin will adapt
  33. Blogger LaiaLy_q8 posted at 1:50 AM  

    we can say that I might have a reputation that makes me seem a bit intimidating to most of the girls that come here ... and the boys as-well none of the new comers have approached me so far and honestly I don’t mind I am very indifferent about this issue … if anything I am sad to hear that such immature kids are coming to the US
  34. Blogger Erzulie posted at 2:29 AM  
    DNA: Yeah I know. Like I said, time will do the trick. I mean I was a little bit clueless when I first came here! Although I wasn't a ditz, I did learn a thing or two since I got off the boat.

    Laialy: Hmm...well I don't think I'm intimidating. I just don't "a6aye7 il miyana" with the newcomers. Don't get me wrong, I can act like an idiot with my good ol' friends - because I can afford it :P - but some people say that I am "too formal." Then again, I'd rather be too appropriate than a raging clown.
  35. Blogger Trevelyana posted at 5:12 AM  
    I cannot even explain how much I relate to this..
    For a while there I thought perhaps it was just me! ya.. it's sad but in the end one has to avoid them just to preserve some semblance of sanity!
    Can't say I relate to the height though.. I'm pint-sized and proud :D heh..
  36. Blogger Erzulie posted at 5:18 AM  
    Leeno: This particular species are widespread. And embrace your pint-sizedness! You have fabulous heels to look forward too *looking over my shoulder at my almost flat-heeled collection*
  37. Blogger LaiaLy_q8 posted at 5:30 AM  
    erzulie, i agree formal is good when meeting new people
  38. Blogger William posted at 6:44 AM  
    thanks erzulie :)

    Being able to put those random words I didn't get in the sentence, I don't see how you kept you cool.

    BTW: Tell her tall women are sexy, "Just cuz you can sit down and still swing your feet... don't be hatin!"
  39. Blogger Erzulie posted at 8:32 AM  
    Laialy: Well it's not only good, it's what should be done. My good friend always complains that whenever he meets people for the first time, they don't "get" him. Of course, it's not surprising that this friend, who really is a great, fun-loving guy, opens up to acquaintances after they barely say "Hello."

    William: Loool merci :P And I'll translate my posts from now on, to make them William-friendly :P
  40. Blogger Ms.Baker posted at 10:34 AM  

    Kuwaiti girls for the most part are quite insecure with who they are, even if they are pretty, even if they were born into privilege. You kinda have to be careful for your own sake. Sometimes even your "friend" can be jealous of you for some silly superficial reason. It's rare to find those who genuinely wish you well. My advice is to distance yourself from anyone-male or female- who is negative with you or makes you uncomfortable, especially when it comes to Kuwaitis while you are studying in the States. Also, and this is important, minimizing your association with them will minimize the chance they will have something negative or hurtful to say behind your back. Kuwait is a small country and community. News spreads fast, and while you may live a totally innocent and wonderful life while you are in the US, there are those who will want to put you down and hurt you just cuz they want to feel superior.

    BTW, I gave this same advice to my lil' sister who just went off to study in the US...

    MsB, all big-sisterly and wishing you a very happy and sweet time during your US studies :)
  41. Blogger Erzulie posted at 10:39 AM  
    MsB: Oh that was of you! I REALLY know what you're talking about. That's what my mom said "Wakhray 3anhom/Ma3alaich minhom." And that's what I do. I mean I hung out/talked to them before but it's the same old thing: "Whay itro7en il gym? Tha3fana!" I mean seriously, I don't have time to wash my hair let alone go to the god damn gym! My hectic schedule is a workout by itself...*huff* and *hug* at the same time :)
  42. Blogger snookie posted at 10:48 AM  
    she had me at hello!
  43. Blogger Erzulie posted at 11:35 AM  
    Snookie: Heh...Screw's "Good Bye" from now on.
  44. Blogger William posted at 4:19 PM  
    Alot of the Kuwaiti women I know, know they are pretty, but they do seem insecure.

    The guys though, seem very proud of themselves and pompous at times.

    Not overly though so far :)
  45. Blogger Erzulie posted at 4:36 PM  
    William: Well said :) Yeah Kuwaiti women are really beautiful. And the pompous factor is shared by both :P
  46. Blogger kila ma6goog posted at 9:26 PM  
    hey, tell her to drop her CV at scop center, thay might hire her to do the 9adoooh 4 show for next ramadan:P

  47. Blogger Erzulie posted at 7:23 AM  
    Kila Ma6goog: La she's more of the "7aleema Boland" part/victim...
  48. Blogger 7tenths posted at 4:57 PM  
    That was hilarious! :) Glad I don't have to mingle with that demographic :P
  49. Blogger Erzulie posted at 6:24 AM  
    7tenths: :) and :P

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