The Harlot
I rarely attend Kuwaiti gatherings here, but this past September, I felt a bit obligated to meet and greet the newcomers and welcome them to the urbanizing ghetto of a city we are located in. I also heard that there was a new girl who had just transferred to my university after a semester’s worth of English language classes tucked under her thick, studded belt.
I walked into the balmy, reserved party room that reeked of the ‘qoozi’ the boys had ordered. And there she was; a pretty, wide-eyed eighteen year old sitting amidst the pool of young men; I smiled at her and strode over to one of the pint-sized girls and engaged in idle small talk. Soon enough, the new girl – I’ll just call her Harlot for confidential reasons – bounced in. We continued yakking until suddenly, the Harlot turned to me in titters.
Harlot: (loudly) “Wow! Mashallah intay tara wayed 6oweelaahh! 6a3 il farg beinich oo bein *pint-sized girl*!”
I laughed it off and joked that I can get away with my kitten-heels in the U.S. because most Kuwaiti men would reach my kneecaps if I wore heels more than two inches.In a slightly seriously tone, she replied, “La2. 7ata 6oolich ib Amreeka moo 6abe3i.”
Now keep in mind the muggy room is packed with Kuwaiti guys.
I dismissed her comment. Hell, I just met the girl.
With Harlot seated to my right, I assumed my social appropriateness during lunch. She interrupts me mid-sentence, “Hatha sijeee?” she asked, pointing to the tattoo on my pulse point.
Me: “La2. I got it from ‘Claire’s.’”
Harlot: “Ahh. Moo 7ilo.”
She reaches over and touches my hair, “Sha3rich imqa9af.”
Silence.
I restrained myself from exercising any sort of verbal combat with this vermin who sported low-waist jeans that exhibited all the three, fluorescent bands of her g-string.
As the eldest and only female driver, I felt sorry for the girls and offered to take them out to see a movie. We decided on ‘The 40 Year Old Virgin.’ After driving twenty minutes to the theater with five, raucous girls, we ended up leaving fifteen minutes after the picture started because one of the girls was 'offended' by the movie’s content.
I drove back and dropped the unruly bunch at a café near our complex. Everyone bounded out of my car. Everyone except Harlot. She remained in the backseat, situated in the center.
“Ana baroo7 ma3a Erzulie na9fi6 il sayara winyeekom.”
I was indifferent; my apartment was across the street anyway, so I shrugged it off and started to roll onto the pavement.
All of a sudden, Harlot squealed, “Whaaaay chinich my driverrr! Yallah Babu! Go to the right! Go to the right!” She jutted her hand in my face, waving it rightwards.
I had two choices: I could grab her by the hair and slam her head on my rigid arm rest and paw her eyeballs out. I sucked in my breath and chose option number two; I turned around and faced her, this tart I’ve known for a mere three hours, and firmly said, “Intay minsijich?”
Harlot giggled.
Harlot squirmed in her place.
Screw the Harlot.
at 8:42 AM
42 Comments
Haha, ee wallah "Intay min sidjich!"
She's got ALOT to learn.
And you have the patience of an angel ;)
Jewaira: Heh, well I've been avoiding their little immature group, mostly because I have a ton of work this semester but on the other hand, I just don't feel like dealing with it all...and ps...that's not the only time she was 'fiesty.' More to come...
Hehehe cute :P
How old is she, if i may?
Nice new look on the blog btw! Much more welcoming and refreshing than black =)
Jewaira too. I'm feeling jealous now!
Jandeef: 18. It's so strange how two years make THAT much of a difference. I really don't believe that she's nasty; I mean I KNOW that she can be sweet and nice but I don't understand the understated snarky remarks she makes...there have been other incidents but I didn't include them in this post...because they accumulated everytime I ran into her. Strange...I'm not used to dealing with this species.
Oh thank you :) Actually, I really don't know how this came about; I just fiddled around, changed some colors around and went back and forth from the settings to the blog itself to look at what I actually altered.
hahahaha lucky u mama erzulie ;P
Q: Yeah well, I think I'm going to abandon my "kids" for the time being.
Yea i don't think she's nasty either. It's just her way maybe of being funny or friendly. Time will teach her alot.
Is this a blogspot template
How come none of these people went to my University. We would get the shy girls who havent seen the city after the sun sets. I would have taken the 'harlot' to Detroit and left her there. That usually makes a person add a couple years very quickly.
Wow, you DO have the patience of a Saint.
What does minsijich (minsij?) mean?
They ruin your movie, act immature, and sound like they need tranquilizers.
Erz,
I really admire your patience, lo minich chan 9akait-ha 6rag min awal ma she belted with the height comment.
btw, height is a gift, wala ni3ma min allah, it makes clothes look extra fab-u-lous, and its not ur problem that other people are short!
MsBaker: I'm 5'9 :/ I'm sorta average here in the US but I'd be condemned in Kuwait if I wear any heels. Yeah, my mom said that she was jealous ("Mi7tara hathee wakhray 3anha") but I really don't see why...I mean she's pretty and all...I feel like a guy now because I seriously don't get some girls!
Jandeef: Yeah it is but I sorta played around with it. And no I seriously don't think she's nasty...but she wasn't friendly either! I don't know...it's hard to place her personality...but I hope she grows up because she seems pretty nice...
TheKuwaiti: What's your address? I'll ship her over... :P And I think she's more "sly" than "shy" if you know what I mean...
William: Sorry I really don't mean to discriminate! "Minsijich?" means "Are you serious?" By the way, do you understand what the other stuff means? I was going to star and caption everything said in Kuwaiti, but that sort of detracts from the post...sorta....kinda...you know what I mean :) I don't know if I'm a patient person, but I kind of knew what she was all about and that she didn't really 'mean' what she was saying...she's still a kid...at eighteen surprisingly...give her two years and she'll be set...hopefully.
CD: Height is a gift out of Kuwait. In Kuwait, it's looked at as an abnormality sometimes! And about the chick...well, I guess time will tell...but seriously, they're so immature. And going with Q's comment, sometimes I do feel like a mom around them.
7asafa .. Semester too late, back in Kuwait now. Although, if she keeps getting on your nerves .. I know a couple of people in Detroit who can take care of it. :P
K-Kuwaiti: Haha...You know, I've always wanted to go to a 'Rap Battle' in Detroit...One of my HS classmates is in Detroit and he says there are some places he has never ventured in...Hmmm...
DNA: Boston? That's like a tiny Kuwait. As well as a little bit of Saudi thrown in for good measure. I don't deliberately dodge the Kuwaiti clique here...well for one, the guys outnumber the girls. Two, I just don't like the 'Mother Hen' role I'm always in. They're so loud! And I'm not talking about Kuwaiti arrogance, they're just loud kids! Screaming on campus, laughing in an absurdly loud manner...I'm this close *index next to thumb* to tell the girls to act like women!
you need to fix font size on your template and commments section.
As for post, do not hang around with kids.
Purg: Firstly, I'm amazed that you to the time out and actually read this; I know how you detest long posts :P
And what's wrong with the font? Mine seems okay...confirmations from anyone else? Hmm...I have to check up on that :) Merci bien...and yeah, I'm done babysitting...
In a situation like this, I'll drive to the nearest ghetto where the possibility of murder or rape is close to 99%, drop her off and leave. The good thing about it, you can never be charged for it.
How come I never thought of that before ?
Equalizer: TSK TSK! Bismillah 3alal bint! I don't want any traumatic, life-changing event to happen to her! Well, life-changing in a good way maybe...Man, I'd hate to be on your bad side :P~
I think its the template or maybe IE
Purg: IE?
Nah, dont understand all of the rest of it, but a few of the words. Could you translate :) I didn't want to be a pain.
IE = internet explorer
ff = firefox
Seriously, Ugh I would've chose option one :/ I don't actually have much patience, enough to last me through specific events but when it just goes overboard I turn all red and burst :r
heh sh'hal belsha?
nemaayen allah y3eenich
LOL!....waaay maskeena you ily you had to put up with her! She really should get a hold of herself...
LOL I'm 5"8 so I know exactly what you're talking about :P
William:
"Qoozi" = Kuwaiti dish.
"Wow! Mashallah intay tara wayed 6oweelaahh! 6a3 il farg beinich oo bein *pint-sized girl*!" = "Wow! You know you're really tall! Look at the difference between you and *pint-sized girl*!"
"La2. 7ata 6oolich ib Amreeka moo 6abe3i." = "No. Even in the US your height is considered abnormal."
"Hatha sijeee?" = "Is this real?"
"La2. I got it from Claire’s." = "No. I got it from Claire's"
"Ahh. Moo 7ilo." = "Oh. It's not nice."
"Sha3rich imqa9af." = "Your hair has a lot of split ends."
"Ana baroo7 ma3a Erzulie na9fi6 il sayara winyeekom." = "I'm going to park the car with Erzulie and we'll be right there."
"Whaaaay chinich my driverrr! Yallah Babu! Go to the right! Go to the right!" = "Oooooh! You're like my driver! Come on Babu! Go to the right..."
"Intay minsijich? = "Are you serious?"
Ah, there you go! All right, I think I've learned my lesson...I'm gonna put lil' translations here and there for ya :)
Jackie: Well yes. I actually do have a lovely temper but it comes out once in a blue moon. The thing is, if I knew this girl I would've been more harsh but I just met her!
Temetwir: Heh, thanks :)
Disheveled: In time, in time...inshallah her underdeveloped actions will catch up to her adult undergarments...
Sedna: Crap. I know dammit! I mean once someone actually told me, "Why are you wearing heels?" I love heels! I only wear my six inch heels in the US though...hee hee hee...in Kuwait, it's back to almost kitten heels and tennis shoes...*harumph*
DNA: Yeah I know. Like I said, time will do the trick. I mean I was a little bit clueless when I first came here! Although I wasn't a ditz, I did learn a thing or two since I got off the boat.
Laialy: Hmm...well I don't think I'm intimidating. I just don't "a6aye7 il miyana" with the newcomers. Don't get me wrong, I can act like an idiot with my good ol' friends - because I can afford it :P - but some people say that I am "too formal." Then again, I'd rather be too appropriate than a raging clown.
Erzulie..
I cannot even explain how much I relate to this..
For a while there I thought perhaps it was just me! ya.. it's sad but in the end one has to avoid them just to preserve some semblance of sanity!
Can't say I relate to the height though.. I'm pint-sized and proud :D heh..
Leeno: This particular species are widespread. And embrace your pint-sizedness! You have fabulous heels to look forward too *looking over my shoulder at my almost flat-heeled collection*
thanks erzulie :)
Being able to put those random words I didn't get in the sentence, I don't see how you kept you cool.
BTW: Tell her tall women are sexy, "Just cuz you can sit down and still swing your feet... don't be hatin!"
Laialy: Well it's not only good, it's what should be done. My good friend always complains that whenever he meets people for the first time, they don't "get" him. Of course, it's not surprising that this friend, who really is a great, fun-loving guy, opens up to acquaintances after they barely say "Hello."
William: Loool merci :P And I'll translate my posts from now on, to make them William-friendly :P
MsB: Oh that was so...so...darling of you! I REALLY know what you're talking about. That's what my mom said "Wakhray 3anhom/Ma3alaich minhom." And that's what I do. I mean I hung out/talked to them before but it's the same old thing: "Whay itro7en il gym? Tha3fana!" I mean seriously, I don't have time to wash my hair let alone go to the god damn gym! My hectic schedule is a workout by itself...*huff* and *hug* at the same time :)
way3aaaaaaaaa!!
she had me at hello!
Snookie: Heh...Screw it...it's "Good Bye" from now on.
Alot of the Kuwaiti women I know, know they are pretty, but they do seem insecure.
The guys though, seem very proud of themselves and pompous at times.
Not overly though so far :)
William: Well said :) Yeah Kuwaiti women are really beautiful. And the pompous factor is shared by both :P
hey, tell her to drop her CV at scop center, thay might hire her to do the 9adoooh 4 show for next ramadan:P
looool
Kila Ma6goog: La she's more of the "7aleema Boland" part/victim...
7tenths: :) and :P
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