Rubbing Off On Friends & "Takhreeb"

Sometimes, I lose my American accent for whatever reason and dive into sporadic Arablish talk with my friends here in the US.

I usually say the usual “Yallah, inshallah, mashallah, ya Allahhh, ee, la2, ta3al, roo7 (zain!), wa3ok, haaaw!, weee ghobra!, oo ba3dain, agool, inzain, shoof 3ad!” and the like.

I tell them what it means when they ask me.
But I think I am using my handy words too frequently because a while ago, my friend called me while he was co-oping at a firm.

Me: Hala…
Friend: You won’t believe what just happened.
Me: Ha?
Friend: My supervisor stopped by my cubicle and told me to come to the meeting.
Me: And?
Friend: I said, “Yallah, okay.”
Me: Hahaha! No way!
Friend: Yeah! You’re rubbing off on me!
Me: Ahh good good! Bravo!


Of course, everyone is more interested in learning how to pronounce cuss words. One of my friends was so eager to learn how to say
“Sh!t” in Arabic.


Me: It’s from your throat! Do it from your throat!
Friend: Hhhhhhhharrraaa!
Me: NO! Again! Throat!
Friend: Hhhhhhh…
Me: Look, just imagine that you’re hocking out a loogie all right?
Friend: Khhhhh…
Me: YES! YES! MORE!
Friend: Khhhhhhhhhhh@rrrrrr@@@@!!!
Me: AYWAAAA!!!
Friend: Khhhhhh...Khhhh…
Me: Okay that’s it for now…




MP3's:(yeah you know who you are! these are downloadable songs!)
Early Jazz/Rock'n'Roll

Etta James - Good Rockin' Daddy
Richard Berry - Oh! Oh! Get Out the Car
Johnny 'Guitar' Watson - She Moves Me
Curtis Mayfield & the Impressions - Keep on Pushing
BB King - Ain't Nobody's Business
Little Richard - Directly From My Heart
The Chanters - She Wants to Mambo
Shirley Ellis - The Nitty Gritty
The O'Jays - Lipstick Traces (On A Cigarette)

at 5:36 AM 18 comments

Girgai3an

The raucous children skipped from door to door, gorging on their sweet treats and bland nuts. They knew which houses had the best candy and which ones had none at all. Some homes would send elderly housekeepers to the door to scoop out chunky portions of sugary delights.

Others had an older sibling shovel small yet appreciated amounts of bonbons. Some households cheerily escorted their entire family, especially the young ones, to the front door as they commanded the eager crowd to sing a song in a newborn’s name.

However, there was always that one house that was saved to end the darkening night. The front door was usually clouded with overgrown vines that blinded the blinking lampposts. The only sound that escaped the walls was the busy crickets. Its keeper was never seen; mothers scolded their children for buzzing the mythical being’s bell, “You have the entire block before you, why do you have to disturb his old soul!”

But the curious children never listen.
“I wonder how he looks like.”
“He never comes out. He usually ignores us.”
“Yes, but remember once, last year, he sent out his housekeeper to send us away.”
“Well, that’s only his housekeeper…”

And the small army continued their deep conversation as the younger ones in the bunch remained silent and listened attentively to the plan.

“I say we all line up next to the door and ring the bell until he comes out!”
The cluster of heads raised their sweaty, sticky fists in the air and charged toward the mysterious grounds.
They rang the bell once, twice, and thrice!

Yet nothing happened.
“Let me try,” the eldest member planted an impatient finger on the bell and never ceased to stop ringing it.


Suddenly, they heard a loud bang followed by steps that thudded against the ceramic tiles.


“YA KLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAB!”


The children screamed in horror! He had come out of his hole!
They clutched their heavy bags of candy and ran back home in terror.
Yet alas, they never cast a glance behind them at the feeble, white-haired man who ran barefoot to his door to shoo away the rascals once and for all.

at 7:13 AM 11 comments

Fendi Spy Bags, Lamborghinis & Kuwaiti Pissants

Last Christmas, I was in Maki downing a plate of sushi rolls when my friend’s sister and her posse took the table nearest to us. The handful of mostly 18 and 19 year olds were dressed to the nines; fabulous heels, designer jeans, beautiful tops, exquisite makeup, the whole nine, glitzkrieg yards. One of the girls who was with us squealed enviously, “Oh look! She has the new Fendi Spy Bag!” Now, I did not know whether this was a normal Fendi bag or a special one equipped with Investor Gadget tools that come to a girl’s aid when in trouble. Frankly, I did not give a hoot but I looked over and caught a glimpse at the embroidered satchel. “That’s almost 2,000 KD!” When I heard that, I almost spit out my delicious spicy tuna. A little bit over six thousand dollars for a bag? If a freaking eighteen year old is carrying that overpriced shizz – which will be in style for a mere six months – what the hell is my own mother going to carry!

Now, I understand that some people are very well off and can afford to splurge on such items. But whatever happened to decency and donning things according to one’s age? We do not see Bill Gates buying his kids yachts and sports cars every week although he can afford to buy the whole company instead of a bunch of measly Enzos & Saleens as well as a Roman Abramovich look-alike plaything.

When abroad, I usually see white-haired seniors in exclusive and expensive vehicles driving by my side. My friend was riding with me once; she frowned and said, “Aren’t they too old to be all about the flashy cars?” And I said that no, many Kuwaitis are the ones who are too young to speed around our tiny country in an under-appreciated car.

One of my peers in high school was a renowned slacker. His grades were as superb as his verboseness, and he spoke to everyone in a disgustingly demeaning manner. I asked him once, “Are you planning to go to college in Kuwait or overseas?” He rolled his eyes and replied, “Why the hell should I tire myself? I’ll just go to one of the private universities here and live off my inheritance. My life is set.” Now it is a good thing that I did not barf in his face right then and there. In my eyes, a man without ambition is as worthy as an earthworm, maybe even less because earthworms actually do some heavy lifting in the underground. In any case, I came back home the next semester and spotted him looking spectacularly smug in his brand new Ferrari. Oh his parents must be so proud.

Now there are many young people who do own such luxuries. I myself have a few treasured pieces, but the key word here is “treasured.” I was with my friend a while ago and we were chatting about this particular issue. While I chugged my coffee and mulled over our chat, she placed her Louis Vuitton monogram speedy on her lap, “This was my mother’s when she was my age.” The bag looked brand new; it was obviously taken care of and not thrown around like any other purse. When I was in Europe with my family on our summer vacations, I remember the complete contrast of this friend of mine; a frenzied crowd of “Gulfians” grabbing and buying extravagances in a nearly manic manner. What is the joy in that?

The thing that I do not understand is how these people live solely for the moment and nothing else. What about tomorrow? Do these people think about potential investments, their children’s education, or their future homes? I doubt that it crosses their mind when they snag that Fendi Spy Bag.



PS's...
Bell Biv Devoe - (That Girl is) Poison
Nate Dogg - Music & Me love this song
Pharoah Monch - Simon Says Shut the F Up
Keith Sweat - Twisted
Public Enemy - He Got Game

at 8:03 AM 16 comments

Helluva Weekend

I decided to take a little break before I buckle down and finish off my last semester here. I treated myself to some damn good music. The pictures and their captions tell all.

First up was Benny Benassi. This guy's got charm; he kept laughing and smiling at everyone. Of course, I fought the crowd to get right in front of the stage.

at 4:59 AM 16 comments

South Korean Laundry

“Hi, is my shirt ready?”
“Ohhh nooohhh. Ay sehh…waan minuhh…”
She looks in her little notebook, “Ahhh hokay. Cam ba’ Satuudeh.”
“Oh this Saturday?”
Nods, “Yeh.”
“Okay thank you!”
“Okayyyyy, Bahhhhyyy!”

I always walk out of there with a smile.


PS's...
Pink Martini - Dansez Vous
RJD2 - Clean Living
RJD2 - Iced Lightening
RJD2 & Aceyalone - Heaven
Soul Position - Hand Me Downs
Soul Position - Unlimited
Kazi - Average
Quasimoto - Jazz Cats Pt. 1

at 6:08 AM 11 comments