To Be Frank
The captain announced a few hours ago that there’s Internet available on this flight. At first I was kind of happy but then I was like, “What am I going to do? Tweet?” I have my good trusty book and super fast typing fingers, just in case I want to get my thoughts down somewhere. But I have to type this post out pretty quick since I’ve got only one hour on this thing. By the way, it’s the first time I connect my laptop to the Internet while over the Atlantic. Kind of cool...
I know I’ve neglected this blog of mine for a while but in my defense, it has been on my mind. I always think, “Hmm, that would be something cool to blog about.” But as a professional procrastinator and expert in time mismanagement, I put my thoughts and nonexistent posts on the back burner. Until now. But it’s almost Christmas and the New Year is coming up, so I guess I have no excuse huh?
“Don’t you ever feel that you’re running out of time?” I asked my husband as he drove me to the airport. At 26 (and a half), I still feel like I want to do and more specifically, accomplish more things. “I used to feel that when I was your age, but I traveled and lived where I wanted. I’m pretty happy where I am now,” he replied, sounding content. I smiled. For me, it wasn’t about traveling around the world or going on shark feeding trips near southern Africa (who does that? I still cannot understand why anyone would do that. Not the shark feeding bit per se. But in general, to travel to a relatively dangerous region in the world and be surrounded by wild animals that have the option of gnawing your face off. Why? I will never understand that).
Yeah so anyways, I think it’s more about doing. I don’t know but I guess a part of me is so afraid of regrets. In general, I’d rather regret doing something than not. I mean, if I do something, whatever it is, it might do me good or it might hurt in the short or long run (or both). Then again, I’ll learn from that experience – as cliché as that sounds – and know exactly what it feels, tastes and sounds like. I guess I’m afraid of running out of time doing things that I might or might not regret. But what’s the use of life if you don’t experience every bit of it? And I don’t mean it in a hedonistic way. Sometimes, I feel like that my comfortable routines start to turn into annoying, boring ruts. I have this strange sense to shock myself into feeling something again, something extraordinary that’ll make me reel with joy, fear and wonder. So I might experience something I have always wanted to do but I was afraid to. Sort of like snap myself back to the grit of life by break dancing instead of doing the two-step.
Oh great I have 40 more minutes on this thing. Resolutions. Well, I think I’m sticking to mine this year. “What are your resolutions?” I asked a good friend of mine yesterday. “Same as last year’s: lose weight,” she replied glumly. I’ve borrowed some resolutions from years before while a few are brand new. Let’s see how 2012 will turn out. I don’t like being optimistic (because if I am there’s a higher probability of being let down) but for some reason, I have a good feeling about 2012. Maybe because it’s an even number. I like even numbers, in general.
As for you, I wish that this New Year will be good to you. More than good even; breathtaking and inspiring. I wish you love, peace and wonderful, magical moments. I wish you the world.
at 8:30 AM