Monday, September 22, 2008

Question of the Day: Do ugly people know they're ugly?

Seriously, do they? Let's just forgo the whole "beauty is from the inside" hoopla for now, although I personally do believe in it since I know quite a homely individuals who have a beautiful glow due to their charmingly warm character and demeanor.

But for now, go ahead and share your opinion(s) on the matter below.

The Coasters - Get An Ugly Girl to Marry You
Ugly Kid Joe - Everything I Hate About You
Summberbirds in the Cellar - Now We are Ugly Inside
Atmosphere - God Loves Ugly
Smashing Pumpkins - Ugly
Elliott Smith - Pretty Ugly Before
Bubba Sparxx - Ugly

at 9:00 AM


  1. Blogger Traveleer posted at 11:18 AM  
    beautiful people think they are ugly (looks wise that is)? what do you think the ugly people are saying to themselves now?
  2. Blogger Jandeef posted at 11:47 AM  
    Some do.

    Some people say I'm handsome. But for some reason I still don't know it!

  3. Anonymous plastic posted at 1:42 PM  
    Ugly people have so much confidence in themselves its crazy . They're shocked when you tell them they're ugly . Shocked .
  4. Blogger q80_demon posted at 2:02 PM  
    you know Erzulie, your question maybe can be rephrased to project gender differences when it comes to self vanity, and it reminded me of an old Joy Behar schtick. I used to love Behar and her comedy, that was before she involved herself with that #$%^& show on ABC. Anyhow, in that routine she questioned how a woman is never satisfied with her looks, no matter how good looking she really is. In fact, she referred to a poll published in a magazine (Cosmopolitan?) that claimed the only part of their bodies women actually appreciate are their wrists. Men, on the other hand, love their bodies, all of their bodies no matter how fat, hairy, or just plain ugly they are, they can’t wait to parade their bodies in front of the women in their lives (she was very graphic in her descriptions, you know :-)

    Speaking of hair, women love their hair - provided it grows only on top of their heads. Men also love their hair ... PERIOD, regardless where it sprouts from their noses, out of their ears. And if a guy goes bold, no problem, the answer is as close as a combover!

    So, to answer your question, if by "ugly" you mean a guy, then the answer is nope, he wouldn’t even think of the possibility that his physical looks leave something to be desired. A women, on the other hand, regardless of how gorgeous she really is, can always be burdened with the evil thoughts about her looks and weight.

    Anyhow, that is the gospel according to Behar, and I hope I made my point clear ;-))
  5. Blogger Erzulie posted at 2:47 PM  
    traveleer: i read something a couple years ago about how 75% of super models think they're not perfect. i think pretty people can be more critical about their looks than average looking people who have more or less grown accustomed to their flat features. surprisingly, i know quite a few ugly ducklings who are head over heels in love with themselves. i think it has a lot to do with one's self esteem.

    jandeef: you're handsome in an approachable sense. now if only you were a tad bit taller :P~ don't fret, i can lend you a few inches :P~~~

    plastic: well, i wouldn't go around telling ugly people that they're ugly because that's just, rude? but anyhow, it's great to have self confidence no matter what you look like just as long as it doesn't turn into arrogance. now that's one major turn off i cannot turn a blind eye to.

    q80 demon: well Behar is extremely biased. I know just as much guys as girls nowadays that are extremely obsessed with how they look. Call it a cultural phenomenon but it's true. Simply take a walk around Marina (or try to imagine yourself in that horrid setting) and you'll come across half a dozen guys with nose job bandages strapped around their new beak.
    Historically speaking, women are more prone to be criticized for their looks than men. Yet nowadays, that area is in the gray zone; men too are becoming body and image conscious. This is a whole different discussion (manly vs. handsome men) but I think your Behar example, again, is a bit too general to digest.
    And why is your blog blocked? I can seem to access it...
  6. Blogger M.D posted at 8:08 PM  
    mm..they think they are beautiful some how !!! .. They think its so cute & nice .. believe me .. i knew a girl she was so fat so amazingly ugly !! but no .. she thinks her hair is amazing .. her eyes are beautiful .. even her belly is so sexy ! .. OMG !! lols !! .. i dunno how do they think .. m not ugly .. but i wouldn't say i'm wow & sexy lols ! that is just sick some how lols !
  7. Anonymous plastic posted at 11:32 PM  
    'Rude' ? That doesn't make any sense your question is 'do ugly people know they're ugly ?' I think we've moved past 'rude' .
  8. Blogger Erzulie posted at 1:14 AM  
    md: lols indeed. well, sometimes i come across those people you've mentioned, you know, the ugly bunch with the high self esteem. it makes me look at myself and think "if they're happy with what they have, i should be ecstatic."

    plastic: this was what you said in your first comment:

    "Ugly people have so much confidence in themselves its crazy . They're shocked when you tell them they're ugly . Shocked ."

    When I said rude, I referred to how rude it would be to tell a so-called ugly person that they're actually ugly. I don't think i - nor you i hope - would actually said that directly to someone who happens not to be very good looking. Make sense now?
  9. Anonymous Anonymous posted at 3:23 AM  
    Beauty is not from the inside. thats just a cliche.

    beauty cant be defined in one shape or form what you might think is beautiful others might think its ugly . thats just how it goes.
  10. Blogger Fee posted at 4:20 AM  
    hahaha! thats one *&#*!) funny question! But seriously, i know alot of damn ugly ppl who would categorize penelope cruz, or you and me under "fugly"! :P

    so to answer your question, they DON'T trust me!

    its a sad world we live in uh? :P
  11. Blogger error posted at 6:08 AM  
    there is not such thing
  12. Blogger Erzulie posted at 4:00 PM  
    skinny: that makes sense...

    feeee! well, i know someone who thinks penelope cruz is the most beautiful woman on earth while another person i know thinks she's very plain. do these people's looks affect their opinion on cruz? maybe their cultural background and/or the people they encountered sometime in their life affect the way they perceive physical beauty. and i don't think the world becomes a sad place if ugly people don't realize they're ugly. on the contrary, i think it provides a balance. while some of the fuglies think they're the best thing that can ever happen, we have quite a lot of gorgeous peeps sulking at the thought that they're not pretty.

    error: as...?
  13. Blogger Temetwir posted at 4:00 PM  
    its obvious in that they try to compensate with exaggerated doses of attitude they slip into according to what they deem fit for the situation at hand

    etha bnaya wela eb testashrif, wela eb testathrif, wela beta7ala 3ala ro7ha..
    wetha esbay wela beysolef 3an fethaye7 banat 3arafhom, wela eb yashghel 3omra b entekhabaat of any kind

    at any rate the ugly/beautiful question has been disregarded on the basis of relativity..
    that is why a whole new vocabulary has been invented/put together to gauge both appeal and interest
  14. Anonymous Anonymous posted at 8:55 PM  
    Well, even the exquistely lovely Angelina Jolie figured out that physical beauty is the most ephemeral quality there is, pooh-poohed her own, and has spent a great part of her recent life striving and working on herself to become a better human being.

    I have always felt that it is those who least mention their own beauty, the ones who are never aware of it or are self-conscious about it, or the ones who believe themselves to be ugly, are the ones who are in fact, the most beautiful. It's never the ones who toot their own horn and talk about it. Those are the ones who are actually the most insecure and the least confident, in an oddly oxymoronic way, of their looks. Today I had the most gorgeous young gentlemen - the nephew of a dear friend of mine, pay me a visit at my office at work (where he will soon be working also, and he is a young man who is like a little brother to me and I like a dear aunt to him). He is certainly one of the most gorgeous young men I have ever seen ( I say this as a big sister, and believe me, he is gorgeous). He is FAMOUS in Kuwait for his gorgeousness and how well bred he is in terms of manners and character. It is clear his parents "it3ibow 3layh" to guide him into being who he is. It is his sense of morality, his spirit and his humility, his sense of humor, and most especially, his being completely unaware of his own physical beauty (and fame for it) that makes him so beautiful in my opinion.

    It doesn't matter if you have a crooked nose or a big butt, or a tiny space in between your two front teeth or a roundish Polish/Scottish face inherited from your great-grandmas (both of the latter are annoyingly mine. Ok, maybe the butt too :/ ) What is inside of you makes it's way to the surface and transforms you to make you either ugly or beautiful - as you have said Erzulie. The hard work you put in to grow and evolve and to make yourself into a more enlightened, unselfish, giving and positive person who survives and survives to help others is what does it for me. That is the only beauty that is eternal and is the only real and genuine beauty worth having and striving for.

    On a less philosophical note - what I find UNATTRACTIVE in the EXTREME is typical Arab looking girls who are attractive enough in their own right as is, forcing their features through surgeries, makeup and overstated artifice (like wearing those damn colored eye lenses- gross) to look like a plasticized Western amalgam of what the media says is beautiful. Ugh.
  15. Blogger Erzulie posted at 1:32 AM  
    temetwir: all right your reply is a whole lotta overly philosophical phrases strung together. try again next time :P~

    ms. baker: all right, who the heck is this dude!? :P~ but yeah, you're right and i can relate. i know this woman whose face is considered a measure of classic beauty; big doe eyes, black hair that oughta be in a pantene commercial or something, katherine hepburn's facial structure and the most refined nose ever imaginable. but you know what - and i'm not exaggerating here or saying this for the mere sake of validating my point - i have never found her beautiful because of her forever condescending attitude that is SO unnecessary. on top of that, she's a bad mother. it's so weird because i was telling someone i know that when you really look into her eyes, you get a feeling of emptiness. it's just an abyss of nothingness. i know it's bad to say this but she has no soul or spirit. it's a bit disturbing to think about it.
    and the typical Arab girls. well, this is a whole different topic but it does pinpoint an extreme level of insecurity. there are a lot of untrendy trends around. for instance, i was getting my eid pants shortened at the tailor today and a girl my age was there. she had a friendly, brown face that was almost void of makeup. but what caught my attention were here green eye contact lenses. the only thing i thought about was "why?" they looked so out of place. i know a woman who wears them to weddings only and they work on her because she's freckled with light skin, but this girl today, it just makes you look twice at her and not in a good way :/ of course there are far more extreme cases but i just don't understand the rationale behind such things that happen on a daily basis.
  16. Blogger The Universal Refusenik posted at 8:40 PM  
    I think deep down they do.
    Also, looks and physical appearances are relative - all of us have a different world view and our perception of beauty will be different and may even change with time.
    My frame of reference with beauty is the Coorgi kind which may seem at odds with my African neighbor who may think the world of Nigerian beauty. It's quite likely, my beautiful is his ugly and vice-versa.
  17. Blogger Bodie Broduas posted at 12:11 AM  
    I think the whole post can be refuted with one parable, phrase, saying, whatever u wanna call it: that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, that "ishathee ib 3ain omaa gazhal" so to speak. the person u might find ugly is attractive in someone else's eyes. For us to label them into categories based on their attractiveness means that we are falling into the Western amalgam of beauty.
  18. Blogger Leafless Eve posted at 4:08 AM  
    Yes, they know they are ugly
    (no elongated philosophical discussion here)
  19. Blogger Erzulie posted at 5:58 PM  
    universal refusenik: i LOVED the last part of your comment, that your beautiful is his ugly and vice versa. that is so true you know? :)

    bodie: not quite brodie. not necessarily western. i can give you a lot specific examples here (based on how some people i know prefer dark Arabian beauty) but i think you know where i'm coming from :)

    leafless: hmm...ok :)
  20. Anonymous Anonymous posted at 10:28 AM  
    what really pisses me off is when someone is so ugly and they think they can judge a pretty person. like honestly if someone is prettier than you you just shouldnt talk. your ugly, so you have no right what so ever to call the pretty person ugly. like just go crawl in a deep dark hole. your obvisouly just jealous of the pretty person. so jsut do everyone a favor and stop making a fool out of yourself. ugly people shouldnt talk to pretty people. like uggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh i hate ugly people.
  21. Anonymous Anonymous posted at 2:38 AM  
    Ugly guy reporting here, a bit late it seems though. I have personally been aware of my ugliness for well over a decade, and am aware of the consequences it brings - and will keep bringing - to my life as well.
    And for those out there who keep babbling about "inside beauty" and "beauty is in the eye of the beholder", just google up "Juliana Wetmore" or "Daniele Fiorenza" before uttering that nonsense again.
  22. Blogger Erzulie posted at 11:42 AM  
    anon: ok...

    anon 2: okay, that's a bit much. i never heard about those two before. but there's a difference between having a large nose and having a disfigured face (or no face) or mental problem.

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