Monday, January 29, 2007

Public Walkway Peeps

I actually prefer to jog outdoors rather than running on a smooth black rug that goes round and round under my big feet. I generally do not pay attention to whoever is walking before, beside or behind me but some people stick out like a sore thumb that it's hard not to cast another glance at their antics:

1- Flexing Fools:

Now, I fully recommend that people stretch their muscles before starting their workout. However one evening, an older man walking in front of me decided to perform his lunges right then and there. The man was holding up pedestrian traffic with his sudden and quite awkward leg bending. Meanwhile I was thinking, "Dude, I know what you're flexing. Go to the sandy area!"

Sometimes I am grateful for having to go through my little run solo because I know that if I had a family member or friend along with me, they would probably be the last straw in terms of me breaking out into a giggle if we come across a strange looking passerby doing even more stranger stretching techniques. That almost happened to me last week and I swear I have never bitten my lower lip as hard as I did to keep from smiling. The walkway was a bit crowded but traffic was fortunately orderly. I squinted my eyes and looked ahead at someone wearing white, standing right off the even gravel, facing me and other people who will soon pass him by. I could not see what he was doing from my position, but I noticed people staring at the man and quickly looking away. As I came closer, I saw the walkway's nightly spectacle with feet spread apart, hands on his hips, gyrating away. I know I had previously said that I support stretching prior to a workout, but what this man was doing was ridiculous and rated R. I remember my jaw dropping a little and my eyes widening instinctively. An older woman walking toward me caught my eye, looked at the man's hips that revolved at a now slower pace, and raised her eyebrows at me. I just kept on walking with my head down. Thank goodness I was wearing a cap.

2- Belly dancing Fashionistas:

First of all, dousing yourself with perfume is a workout no-no. It's inappropriate and will smell funny if sweat is added into the mix, and it was the reason why I gagged after inhaling a mouthful of a little Misses' perfume last week.
Another thing I do not understand is that many girls my age wrap a little jacket around their butts so as to not have their rears exposed. Yet in my opinion, that little jacket makes them much more seductive; I wouldn't be surprised if someone got down on one knee and started clapping before sticking a couple of dinars in the girl's jacket folds. I saw a young woman the other night wearing a tight black shirt and pants and a shrunken white jacket wrapped around her butt. The first thing that came to mind when I saw her highlighted butt swaying before me in the darkening evening was, "I wish I can belly dance like that." Seriously, this woman was above and beyond. It wasn't a waddle, but a really slow sashay where every cheeks' move was apparent to the men who looked back at her firmly strapped, wobbling rear in response to their natural, animal instinct and to be honest, I really don't blame them for doing that. I don't know about you, but that lingering, hip-shaking sway is more of an entrancing dance than exercise. The only thing that comes out of it is more male genitals quivering on my lovely district's public walkway. Oh the horror…

Big Star - Thirteen I love this song...

at 1:33 PM


  1. Blogger Kthekuwaiti posted at 12:23 AM  
    I can't hold myself back from laughing; with people or alone. If I were to go to the 'mamsha' .. I would probably be run over.
  2. Blogger Joud posted at 8:53 AM  
    think of it as entertainment during the run :)

    that and the dude who rides his bicycle and sings out loud - my ipod died out once and i had the honor of listening to his performance
  3. Blogger Closet Diva posted at 4:36 PM  

    "The only thing that comes out of it is more male genitals quivering on my lovely district's public walkway"

    absolutely priceless!
  4. Blogger Erzulie posted at 12:27 AM  
    K: Why run over?

    Joud: I run to the beat so if it dies, I think I'll just walk it out. Before iPods and CDs and walkmen, I had my pinky sized radio (yes 99.7 and 107.3 when it existed) and I heard a Kuwaiti guy run by me singing along to Indian music. Everybody was silent, intrigued by his "wa'sha."

    CD: La wil shay eli yaqherni ena ma3ahom 7areemhom oo yetlafeton! Malat...
  5. Blogger Swair. posted at 3:56 PM  

    Thank God i got my treadmill in my room... i don't like sweating while wearing my 7jab outdoors, so i stick to indoors where i can wear whatever i feel comfy and sporty in, and the shower is just a few steps away and instead of iPod earphones that keep falling out of my ears while i jog, i just connect my iPod to the stereo and blast music so i can sing along as loud as i can without causing anybody permenant damage lol ;p
  6. Blogger Dr.Lost posted at 1:27 PM  
    i dont see why you're so shocked babe.. its not like you never lived here.. welcome back AGAIN ;p
  7. Blogger Erzulie posted at 10:26 PM  
    swair: Wow I applaud you for wearing the 7jab during any outdoor exercise. Even with my hair in a ponytail I end up sweating my butt off. And my ear thingis don't fall off; just stick them in really tight. Mine look like plastic ears...that sounds weird...hmm...

    drlost: I'm moving... :P~

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