Al-Sayer Gets Erzulie Hot & Bothered

Big Brother, God bless him, always takes my car to the car shop when it needs its dosage of new oil. When my car hit the number Big Brother told me to watch out for, I promptly handed him my set of keys and waited for my trooper to come back spanking clean. My baby did return yet unfortunately, I noticed that the only service they performed was changing its oil and nothing else. "I really wanted them to clean it from the inside!" I thought irritatedly. And then one morning, the following happened...



MP3's...
The Embarrassment - Drive Me to the Park
Muddy Waters & the Rolling Stones - Down the Road I Go
Talking Heads - Road to Nowhere
The Beatles - Drive My Car
Tracey Chapman - Fast Car
Barabas - On the Road

at 9:00 AM 15 comments

Question of the Day: If you have a fight in you, who would you rather go up against?*

Warning: Although imaginative, this post is slightly violent and downright mean. You've been warned.

Once upon a dreary evening, I was jogging in my district's walkway when I felt a random bout of anger in me. It was quite strange because I did not know the source of my frustration. I started to observe the many passersby and think about who I would like to take my anger out on. The assortment of people who walked/jogged/bicycled by me included:

- middle aged men and their round bellies

- women wearing a niqab

- young women with and without the hijab

- young women wearing sporty clothing

- athletic, hairy-legged men of all ages wearing 70's style shorts

- emaciated male runners

- young, overweight men

- troublesome preteens

- chubby women

- a child on a bicycle

I cannot recount every person I saw but I ended up choosing one of the young, overweight men, specifically one fatty who was about 28-32 years of age. He was wearing beige sports pants and a white shirt that highlighted his moobs as he walked ever so slowly while swinging his rosary breads around. I figured that if I punched, slapped, kicked and bit him, he wouldn't feel anything because of the layer of blubber and plus, he wouldn't be able to catch up with me if I ran and fled the scene.

But the question still stands: what kind of person (think age, gender, status, looks, etc.) would you feel all right to randomly pick on physically be it a simple, crisp slap on the cheek or smart kick on the rear or a combination of something else? It could be someone you don't know that you can describe from head to toe or it could be someone famous. Again, it's all up to you in the end.

* NB: Dear mama - I mentioned this post to you over lunch the other day and although I stated that it's all in good fun, you said that it might not be a great idea to go ahead with it, "Why make yourself sound like a deranged and aggressive lunatic? People might read it and say "Lay7ooshik!" (translated figuratively: I'm not getting close to this woman!)" But as you can see, I have decided to post it because, well, I still think it's funny :P~

MP3's...
Heights of Abraham - 700 Channels
Miles Davis - Rated x (Doc Scott Remix)
St. Germain - Rose Rouge
Major Swellings - Assquake
Cal Tjader - Soul Sauce (Fila Brazillia Remix)
Jean Grae & 9th Wonder - This World
Digable Planets - 9th Wonder (Blackitolism)

at 9:00 AM 18 comments

Question of the Day: Why does Kuwait's Ministry of Higher Education sponsor students in acquiring degrees that hold no current value in Kuwait?

To this day, I have met many young, bright individuals who have graduated with honors from distinguished universities in the US, UK and other countries abroad with majors such as biomedical science/engineering, interior design, environmental biology, culinary arts, health physics and other technical as well as very untraditional yet gloriously interesting fields that these Kuwaiti men and women have excelled in.

Some students are continuing their studies and are presently acquiring their Masters and PhDs to legitimize themselves as professionals in their field and people in society. Others were fortunate enough to dip their fingers in their family's cookie jar and start their own business based on their unconventional yet much adored major. However, many return to Kuwait and either opt for a low paying government job that is similar to their major or, like many educated individuals here, snag a job at an investment company or bank and call it a life well lived.

"Whatever your major was in college, in Kuwait, it's just business, business and more business," a good female friend of mine told me the other day. At 24 years of age, my friend holds a BA in Marketing and is six months away from earning her MBA from a country in the MENA region.

I have observed many young and quite disgruntled Kuwaitis drive back and forth from mundane, unsatisfying jobs. "I go to work, put in my hours, and then I'm off to do the things I like," another friend and a passionate engineer said to me recently, "I like building things and creating stuff. The projects that I accomplish in the evening are my challenge, not my morning job."

It's sickening how much untapped talent we have here in Kuwait. It's sickening how some Kuwaitis are hopping on a plane to the Mohammed Bin Rashid Al-Maktoum Foundation in the United Arab Emirates for their big break instead of having access to a government-owned fund here in Kuwait to further their dreams.

What shame.

MP3's...
Girl Talk - Bounce That
Girl Talk - Let Me See You
Girl Talk - No Pause
Girl Talk - Give Me a Beat
Girl Talk - Hold Up
Girl Talk - Still Here
Peter Bjorn & John - Let's Call It Off (Girl Talk Remix)
Grizzly Bear - Knife (Girl Talk Remix)

at 9:00 AM 9 comments

Question of the Day: When and how did ketchup and French fries be a favored twosome?

at 9:00 AM 6 comments

Movies That Suck

Amores Perros
Being a foreign film enthusiast, I was ecstatic when I finally received my Amazon order of this movie. A friend of mine gushed about how this highly honored Mexican piece was one of her favorite films while another friend said that the movie is really "intense". I popped the DVD in at around 2 AM and finished a little after four in the morning. As I was watching the credits roll on the black screen, I looked around my cold, dark living room convinced that a sudden attack of wild, rabid dogs four days before my 68^th birthday will be the cause of my blood-spattered death. Now, the cinematography is spectacularly brilliant, but I translated my friends' positive opinions of the movie and the fact that the word "amores" was in the title into a romantic, two dimensional escape from my loveless days. I prepared myself for hot, passionate deceit a la Unfaithful. Instead, I spent two hours observing the dark, maniacal faces of inhumanity.
My rating: 7.8/10

Y Tu Mamá También
Don't read the next sentence if you haven't watched the movie yet. So, we have two Mexican buddies from the opposite sides of the social ladder who obviously can't keep their baby batter in them for more than two hours and a boney, simple-minded woman who takes off with the two boys after her snooty snot of a husband spilled the beans about slutting it up with a number of anonymous minxes. The boney woman and two boys play with each other - literally - during a road trip to the beach. She stays behind and dies of cancer a month after the two teenagers head back home to the city, leaving their tainted friendship and unmentionable relationship behind them for life. I always wait until a movie has completely ended to get the first and final taste of what the overall feel of the piece was. Sometimes, it's an overwhelming emotion of love, regret and heart wrenching peace. But in this movie's case, it was a bittersweet feeling of weird, confused blahness that I quickly shrugged off.
My rating: 6.8/10

Perfume: The Story of a Murderer
I just finished watching this movie thirty minutes ago. I swear, if I see the main character right now I would blow his skeletal, impassive head off with my dad's loaded rifle. It's not that I don't understand the idea of mixing bloodshed with piety, mostly because those two elements make up history. However, what I don't get is how those two combinations equal an orgy with more than 50,000 participants. What gives?
My rating: 2.4/10

Things We Lost in the Fire
I wish a small fire developed in my house's garage whereby in some strange, miraculous way, this movie made its way right at the heart of the scorching flames. Again, I was anxious for a movie that would temporarily carry me away to the amorous land of Saint Valentine. Although the pirated DVD cover was a glum picture of the two main actors in the flick, I had my hopes up for some back arching kisses that would leave me short of breath, "It's Halle Berry and Benicio Del Torro. It has to be hot." Well, it was not. The overlong movie is a groan-worthy downer filled with grief, frustration and is void of any type of climax.
My rating: 3.3/10

Love in the Time of Cholera
After seeing this, I made a vow to never take anyone's opinion about any movie. I must admit that I did cry a few times. Then again, I cried watching this television commercial. Apart from the horrid job of the makeup artist, the film was poorly scripted and lacked the heart and heat of the novel.
My rating: 5.4/10

The movie that made the cut:

Pan's Labyrinth
This fantastic Spanish tale blended childhood fantasy with adulthood's morbid reality, two things that make it a sad yet beautiful piece for people who haven't lost touch of youth's wonderful world of imagination.
My rating: 9.4/10

MP3's…
Crowded House – Don't Dream It's Over
Cut Copy - Feel the Love
Alanis Morissette - Hands Clean

at 9:00 AM 14 comments