Thursday, February 09, 2006

Chips & Chunks


- I think my alarm clock hates me. I never press or tap the ‘Snooze’ button. I always smack, slap, hit, whack, and swat the thing. Now, I have to strike it even harder from all the blows that came its way. I decided to stop this technological abuse by placing the annoying device across the room, on my dresser. After waking up and limping across the cold room to turn the damn thing off, I rarely find myself plopping on my wrinkled, warm bed to get that fulfilling five minutes of extra sleep.

- My retired neighbor is the sweetest little old lady I’ve met. Apart from her collection of straw hats and fat cat, there’s nothing sinister about the woman. However, her cooking drives me up the wall. Whenever the elevator doors open, I get a whiff of her dishes; the scrumptious main meal complimented with a hint of garlic and oregano or the sweet and hot apple pie. I have two choices: I could kidnap her and chain her to my kitchen floor or I could barge into her place and invite myself over.

- There’s a new Kuwaiti group here. All guys. All hairy freshmen. I don’t run into them on a daily basis; the only time I see them is when I walk to my second period class. They would be stationed at their before-noon hangout, standing in a loud circle. Once however, I was a bit late for class. The Kuwaiti mob was not at the stairs as usual; they were walking together in a sidewalk-hoarding line. Since I haven’t officially met them, they do not know that I’m Kuwaiti. They sauntered by and their reeking cologne was interrupted by a couple of the boys, “Okkkhhh…6a3 6a3…Chayek…” I enjoyed my oblivious state and smirked as they past by, thinking of other times where I would involuntarily eavesdrop on their tidbits. My dear brother, however, was concerned, “La may9eer. Wetha galaw shay mo7rij? La may9eer...talk on the phone or something so they know who you are.” Oh well, so much for my disguise!


PS DJ Shadow - The Number Song [Cut Chemist Party Mix]

PPS Massive Attack - Blue Lines

PPPS Telepopmusik - Stop Running Away

at 9:12 AM

22 Comments

  1. Blogger Homer Al-Simpson posted at 12:06 PM  
    showzan ;p i catch on quickly

    kidnap her kitty and hold her for an apple pie ransom
    ahh the kuwaiti buddy pact, how nice

    p.s no one told me this bloggin stuff is addictive
  2. Blogger Shurouq posted at 12:09 PM  
    Illustrated ba3ad.. Wanasa!

    But, Erzulie, reading the snippet on your neighbor got me hungry and it's not lunch time yet. Shasawwi al7een?
  3. Blogger Delicately Realistic posted at 12:19 PM  
    "Hairy freshman"

    Hahaha Erzulie twanseeeeeen!
  4. Blogger Sailor posted at 12:23 PM  
    i loved Alia`s story .
  5. Blogger don_veto posted at 12:40 PM  
    I got 2 alarm clocks set at different times, so if I manage to hit the snooze button while sleeping, or turn off the alarm (a hidden talent that I found out I had) I got the other alarm as a backup.

    If you can't cook, buy something and send it over to the old lady, in return she will cook for you everyday.

    As for the Kuwaiti boys, wear a Kuwait flag T shirt. That should send a loud and clear message saying, like Austin Powers once said, "Oh Behave!".
  6. Blogger BLaSha posted at 4:50 PM  
    "Sinister"!! you know hun, that word doesn't mean evil or bad, it simply means "left handed" but back in time all lefy handed ppl were smart enough to hang out with other or sumthin.. they always were into invention or sumthin like that, and that's why noone liked them!!

    I didn't wanna sound smart here or anythin :P I jus wanted you that sinister ain't a word to call evil ppl :P I am a sinister myself.

    And about the Kuwaiti group, 5aaaaaaywaLLoooN :P
  7. Blogger ezain_kilah posted at 11:16 PM  
    lol ... hun ... barge in, eavesdrop, and snoose as much as u like, la t5alleen shay b5a6rich. if anything went wrong though, allah la ygool, don't hold me responsible!
    هيهي ... glad to visit, amused to read ;)
  8. Blogger Erzulie posted at 12:03 AM  
    Homer: Lol (about the addictive part). I'm scared of her cat. It's fat, big, and just stares at you.

    Shurouq: I'm serious her cooking is amazing; oo mata3zim! Kil mara amor bel mamar at'thakar 6obakh omee oo baitna and think "Those were the days when Subway and Jimmy Johns were nonexistant."

    DR: Ee wallah misakeen...

    Don_Veto: My friend's brother actually put his alarm clock in a bird's cage; he has to unlock the cage to close the alarm...that's how much trouble waking up is for him! And I can cook! But being at school from 10 a.m. until 7 p.m. (earliest time), I really don't have the energy to wait over a boiling pot. Ah and the Kuwaiti boys...well, I think the phone thing will do. That or maybe I'll wear a purple chmaq (my dad got me one from Soog il Qadeem)...

    Blasha: From Dictionary.com:
    Main Entry: sinister
    Part of Speech: adjective
    Definition: nasty
    Synonyms: adverse, apocalyptic, bad, baleful, baneful, black-hearted, corrupt, deleterious, dire, disastrous, dishonest, disquieting, doomful, evil, foreboding, harmful, hurtful, ill-boding, inauspicious, injurious, lowering, malefic, malevolent, malign, malignant, menacing, mischievous, obnoxious, ominous, pernicious, perverse, poisonous, portentous, threatening, unfavorable, unfortunate, unlucky, unpropitious, woeful
    Antonyms: good, innocent
    Source: Roget's New Millennium™ Thesaurus, First Edition (v 1.1.1)
    Copyright © 2006 by Lexico Publishing Group, LLC. All rights reserved.

    Main Entry: baleful
    Part of Speech: adjective
    Definition: menacing
    Synonyms: calamitous, deadly, dire, evil, foreboding, harmful, hurtful, injurious, malevolent, malignant, noxious, ominous, pernicious, ruinous, sinister, threatening, venomous, vindictive, woeful
    Antonyms: benevolent, benign, favorable, harmless, innocuous

    Historically speaking, lefties may have been considered evil or bad; in Islam, the right hand was favored over the left. In strict Catholic schools, kids are actually forced to learn to write with their right hand (if they're originally lefties) because the left was considered evil.

    And the boys: Yup :) Bes I think saj okhoy ya3ny a7sanli agreg 3alal telephone jidamhom wala an6erem kil ma emoron! :P

    Ezain_Kilah: Lol! Great advice! I wouldn't be surprised if I got arrested though! :P
  9. Blogger jambino posted at 1:31 AM  
    You're quite talented, you know that? I'm serious, anyone who can draw like that using nothing but MS-Paint is a genius in my book.

    You should consider art as a career :)
  10. Blogger Erzulie posted at 1:42 AM  
    Jambino: Your comment made my day :)
  11. Blogger LaiaLy_q8 posted at 6:53 AM  
    mashallaah your rasmaat are very cute :)
  12. Blogger Erzulie posted at 2:52 PM  
    Lialy: Merci :)
  13. Blogger 7tenths posted at 3:07 PM  
    Hehehe, yeah I got the same dilemma with waking up :/ I actually outlast my phone alarm! I've resorted to putting my tv on wake up mode (see, they can be helpful sometimes ;P) and on extra loud, then put the remote in a far away drawer! Problem is I end up registering information from television subconsciously in those 20minutes it takes the loudness to wake me up from my hibernation & I end up getting all these deja vu sensations when people talk about the news, like I heard it in a dream or something :P Oh and even after takin out the remote & turning off the tv, I have no problem whatsoever jumping into bed! I'm seriously considering hiring someone to push me off at 7am each morning, any takers? I'll give you benefits ;)

    As for the Kuwaiti mob, lol! Thing I gotta ask is, do they seriously think that even a person not familiar with Kuwaiti slang wouldn't catch on to what they're saying? I mean once someboday starts reiterating the same term at a high pitched voice, I'm pretty sure he ain't philosiphizing abou the Chaos Theory :P

    Oh, & good luck with the B&E ;)
  14. Blogger kila ma6goog posted at 3:29 PM  
    alarm!...hate it

    i remmeber when i was in the states..arizona they had this radio station KRQ and they have a show in the morning is similar to the el camera el khafeya..

    i bought a radio alarm and i let it off on that station so i wake up

    in kuwait now i like mara7eb...bas the problem is the lady in the show tbu6 chabdee....she always wants to fight with callers and inforce her opinions on them

    bit*h

    peace and good luck with the less hairy ones:P
  15. Blogger Dr.Lost posted at 5:15 PM  
    well the alarm clock bit we can all relate to.. as for the rest of ur post i guess i gathered that u r some hot woman by the sounds of "chayik chayik.. " ;p hehehe, man u reminded me of the good old days in canada.. its a guy thing, must admitt we all did it at some point.. or still do for that matter ;p
  16. Blogger Jewaira posted at 9:49 PM  
    When I was in college I used to put the alarm on the top shelf of the closet so I wouldn't turn it off in my sleep.

    As for the Kuwaiti boys, keep up the suspense as long as you like; you can always write a story then about the things you hear :)
  17. Blogger the11thmuse posted at 10:01 PM  
    Alarms don't work with me anymore. Then I made my friends call me but I always end up lieing to them telling them Im awake so they'd stop calling and I'd get back to sleep. My solution now to this problem is that I call this number and ask for a wake up call and have them call me every 10 minutes half an hour before im supposed to wake up and half an hour after im supposed to wake up.. and depending on how sleepy i am i either wake up or miss my morning lectures. sad i know but true..

    as for the hairy kids haha allah y3eenich.. the thing is now that they dont know your kuwaiti ur safe regardless of what they might say. Bas sadgeeni girl once they know you're kuwaiti ALLAH y3eeenich ooo shifekich 3ad..
  18. Blogger 3baid posted at 10:32 PM  
    I hate waking up to an alarm clock, it makes me feel.. mechanical. No matter how early I sleep, an alarm clock will always make you feel like you haven't had enough. :/
  19. Blogger Erzulie posted at 10:37 PM  
    7tenths: Lol! Your comment was full of hints and nudges! Well, your TV thing seems a bit strange but understandable - that you remember what goes on in the news. Sometimes, if I hear my alarm clock and it becomes part of my dream, like the doorbell or something. And I know! I mean whenever I'm in an non-Arabic country, my mother always scolds me when I say something about someone, "Erzulie! Just because they don't understand doesn't mean they don't sense your tone!" And what the heck is B&E!!!

    Kila Ma6goog: Ollah! Shal 7oqd! Khala9 when I go back I have to listen to what you're talking about i.e. the annoying woman on the radio. Ay less hairy...yahalo 9ot'hem ela3le3, kel wa7id tawa 6ale3 min ba6en oma may3arfoon yit9arefoon...

    Dr.Lost: "Hot Woman" sounds robotic! Lol, actually...I rarely straighten my hair here -if we're gonna get specific- but that day I had a presentation and I "juiced" it up :P

    Jewaira: Yup...the farther it is the better. And I thought about posting tales about the bushy runts here but I really don't want to have a "Ta3al! Shgelt! Shqa9dik! Aya jileel il 7aya" moment...so you see :)

    11thmuse: I'm starting to think that almost all bloggers have problems concerning waking up from their sleep! Friends calling...lying...there's something deceitful and dramatic about that :P La wallah i9ara7a khal i3arfoon il7een gabel ma igi6oon shay qawee or sth...3ad hnee il fuka!
  20. Blogger 7tenths posted at 2:01 AM  
    Hints and nudges? Hehehe, ay hints o nudges?! Oh and B&E is breaking and entering ;) So I'm guessing this is your first time? ;P
  21. Blogger Erzulie posted at 3:22 AM  
    7tenths: I think we have a little double bind going on here :P
  22. Blogger Dr.Lost posted at 12:40 AM  
    hmm.. honestly, im one of those rare men that is not into curly hair.. i love straight hair tho, and especially when its long.. but im still guessin ur hot :) not that u care.. ;p

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