Sunday, June 04, 2006

How To Spot a Male, Kuwaiti Student*

1- The Hair: Black and overgrown, some Kuwaitis tend to attempt a pseudo-Afro during their college years. Their hair is not naturally spiraled, but its thickness and bushiness molds into a lazy, massive cloud crowning their tanned faces and pricy, opaque sunglasses.

2- The Walk: More like a swagger, some of these rosary-bead-tossing students amble around campus ever so slowly, whether with fellow Kuwaitis or alone. When alone, however, they are found clutching their cell phones to their head as if balancing on the ear piece. The cell phone, a somewhat of an almighty, elitist shield, is a must have accessory that exhibits the users’ importance and grandiosity.

3- The Talk: A bunch of these shaggy boys can be heard across campus. Their boisterous laughter and overlapping, clamorous conversations differentiate the large, gruff-voiced crowd from the quieter two and threesomes strolling by them, amused at their enthusiastic foreign tongue. Many Kuwaiti students are oblivious to the fact that some people actually understand them. I have heard countless chit-chats between pubescent men that range from risqué encounters with “Melissa & Maria” to delightful hints about “Coors & Busch.”

4- The Ass: Apart from the obligatory pot belly, a few Kuwaiti male students are more inclined to sport wide, large posterior ends as opposed to narrow, perky ones. Although not considered an asset, they draw attention whenever their overstuffed messenger bags or low slung, battered backpacks bounce on their bulky bottoms and round, fleshy, curly-haired thighs.

5- Armani Exchange: Although I favor this brand, my male counterparts seem worship it. I suppose it is safe to say that it is their official uniform.

6- Cheesecake: “Ha Cheesecake?” Correct me if I am wrong, but I do believe that other restaurants exist. Yes, I agree, they do offer many cuisines and their food is indeed very tasty and convenient. But what happened to adventures and food explorations? Why does it always come down to the safer, lamer Cheesecake? I think if the owners of this business knew how many Kuwaitis trek to Cheesecake’s premises, we would end up in the Guinness Book of World Records as their best customers.

Crash Test Dummies - Mmm, Mmm, Mmm, Mmm
Hootie & the Blowfish - Let Her Cry
Santana Ft. Wyclef Jean - Maria Maria
Marky Mark & the Funky Bunch - Good Vibrations

* Note: To my fellow male Kuwaiti students in US of A: Please do not take this post personally. I am merely taking light yet sarcastic jabs at you. I did not mention your good company, witty humor, and your wonderfully familiar blend of subtle cigarette fumes and exquisite designer cologne. Good luck with your studies and viva AX. Cheers :P~

at 12:49 AM


  1. Blogger 3baid posted at 1:31 AM  
    Why is he calling me? @_@ I don't know this guy! *runs*
  2. Blogger Angelo posted at 5:18 AM  
    Hmmm, let see if I could fit in your list:

    *Hair: I take care of my hair a LOT! I am probably the only student on campus that does not mind spending 15 minutes in front of a mirror just to get the perfect hairstyle. I tend to spike it (but not too spiky) when I have short hair, or simply groomed it with Hair Crème when it is long.

    *The Walk: I do send SMS a lot but don’t rather talk over the phone. Since I wear a shoulder bag (NOT A PURSE) I try to balance my walk but nothing unusual about it.

    *The Talk: I use English most of the time even when I'm with my Kuwaiti friends. I rarely shout out loud but tend to be more detailed when I am trying to explain something.

    *The Ass: Hmmm, these days I'm including butt-aerobics in my exercises in the gym. I'm aiming for a smaller butt yet bouncy (Just like Brad Pitt's butt in Troy!!)

    *Armani Exchange: Not really! I like Armani but I tend to go with causal yet fashionable ala Clinton from "What not to wear" cuz his fashion senses are flawless. GAP, Banana Republic, Abercrombie & Fitch are among my favorites.

    *Cheesecake: Oh my god! I totally agree with you on that one. I mean come on, let try new restaurants once in awhile especially since Pearl Street has such many different cuisines.

    WOW...that was long. YAY! I survived Erzulie's list. BTW, I know many who fits your list quite well LOL :p
  3. Blogger Drunk'n'Gorgeous posted at 5:42 AM  
    Erzulie I love you! That was hilarious! It's obvious you meant no harm though so don't worry about it. You totally described my younger brother in #1 (The Hair). I adore how you described it "the pseudo-afro" hahahahaha I don't understand the point of the pseudo-afro and I think it's silly. I'm always urging my younger brother and guys in college with me to go cut their hair bas maky fyda. Ah well, anyways thanks for the list. I needed a good laugh :P Take care yeah? Laters!
  4. Blogger N.A. posted at 7:47 AM  
    Q8ies have a sense of humor, nothing beats the good old jokes on their fellow khaleejis back in the days ;p They loved making fun of my dialect .. made me think twice before saying anything .. gotta love 'emmm all

    I like the ass part, hundred percent genuinely true. haah!
  5. Blogger K.thekuwaiti posted at 9:37 AM  
    After reading that list .. I realized I have followed almost all the things on that list (except Cheesecake; And thats only because we didn't have one).
  6. Blogger Purgatory posted at 11:12 AM  
    Why do you look at their gigantic butts?
  7. Blogger Delicately Realistic posted at 6:32 PM  
    Ya 7ayatiiiii :*
    shino hal postat il3ajeba, shino hal 7arkat?
    Where would we be without ur posts?
    A truly A student blogger!
  8. Blogger q80_demon posted at 6:50 PM  
    I think I’m old to participate in discussing this post :-/
    Oh, BTW, you’ve been tagged
  9. Blogger Erzulie posted at 8:02 PM  
    3baid: Haha :P

    Fallen: Man, 15 MINUTES! Damn...The purse, all right it Puma btw? If it is then you're spot on...and I kind of sense you being more of a quiter analytical dude than a flamboyant one...And you want an ass like Brad's in "Troy"? Bismillah 3alaik, but the closest way you can get it is when you die and go to heaven (hopefully) ask God for two sweet cheeks.

    D&G: I don't get the hair either. It's ugly.

    N.A.: You know, there are some guys I know from other countries in the Gulf that have actually complained (and fought) about how the Kuwaiti guys make fun of one another (and then transfer the jokes to the non-Kuwaiti person) so frequently...and harshly :P I think it's somewhat of a talent, you know? To come up with something so fast and as harsh and mean if not more...

    kthekuwaiti: Lol K! :P~~

    Purgatory: As I have mentioned, there are two types of butts on campus. The Kuwaiti butt and then you have the perky, narrow ones. Which ones do you think I look at more???

    DR: Lol, A student blogger :P

    q8odemon: Why are you too old? Men are always saying that they're too old when they actually never get old, if you know what i mean...anyway...i just saw your phone is a piece of junk but it has survived many, MANY falls...
  10. Blogger q80_demon posted at 8:13 PM  
    Erzulie: by old, I’m referring to the fact that what was hip in my student days now belongs in the history books ;-))

    And never mind that your phone is old, I myself am not one those ppl who switch mobiles every other Thursday. I stick to the same unit until it decides to commit suicide out of obsolescence.
  11. Blogger Sedna posted at 8:29 PM  
    Hehehe funny :P

    I like you Erzulie :$ A lot!
  12. Blogger Q posted at 11:41 PM  
    hmm....armani exchange o cheesecake, 7adddaaa Boston ;P
  13. Blogger Erzulie posted at 1:22 AM  
    q8o_demon: Hehe :P And I just took a picture of my abused post inshallah :))

    Sedna: :P~ Ditto :))

    Jambino: Was? Past tense? :(


    Q: It's trans-city, trans-state...I don't know how it all happened...
  14. Blogger Temetwir posted at 1:44 AM  
    "How To Spot a Female, Kuwaiti Student*"

    1. elwa7eeda ely on campus etlaa7eth shaghlaat tekhess the kuwaiti males o etnawet her observations

    2. repeat 1 above
  15. Blogger Kleio posted at 1:50 AM  
    They're STILL going to AX and Cheesecake?!?! Obviously that means it's a Kuwaiti student thing that gets passed down from one generation of university-goers to the next. Unbelievable! I only went to Cheesecake Factory once when I was in DC, and that was because some Kuwaiti girls who I had been to high school with were in town visiting someone and they invited me! LOL! But the cool thing about it is, when you know all the places that the Kuwaitis go to (in my days in DC, it was Cafe Milano, Paulo's, and Cheesecake), everywhere else you go you're guaranteed not to see any! Besides, the Kuwaitis in DC in my day (this was before it became the new Boston) never used to go to any of the really cool places (which turned out well for me!). :)
  16. Blogger ZinZinQ8 posted at 6:00 AM  
    LOOOL you're hilarious girl! And you're so right about AX and the hair thingi. You forgot the Deisel jeans though. Also, Cheesecake factory ... Alla yzeed ilni3ma...I don't get the obsession but I do understand that oftentimes men pay more attention to quanity than quality and in Cheesecake you definitely get more for your buck...

    Kleio..DC is a craphole, a friggin village and is nothing like Boston hun. (Sorry Erz but Boston vs Dc is a subject that gets me all boiled up)
  17. Blogger Erzulie posted at 6:29 AM  
    Temetwir: Lol, I don't see how repeating #1 strengthens your point. Hey, everyone noticed (and some even possessed) the obvious traits of Kuwaiti boys (yes, boys) in the US :P

    Kleio: I go to Cheesecake when someone persists, insists, huffs, and puffs. And then I have to pop my jeans open under the table because their portions are huge, even vulgar. And it turned out good for me too ;P

    Zinzin: Whoa whoa! Someone's getting territorial! Personally, I've never been to either Boston or DC. There's a big chance that I might head over to Boston after I graduate (hopefully) this Xmas with the folks and shop until I drop. When I think of Boston, I remember stories of filthy rich kids scrambling for pot and snorting coke on a slow weekend. When I think of DC, I think of an international vibe. Hey, I'm prejudiced! :P And personally, I'm sticking with the beautiful Windy City because ain't nothing like it. So put that in your pipe and smoke it! No offense, it's just my midnight sillies kicking in :**
  18. Blogger Nooni posted at 10:07 AM  
    one word:
    yeslamly timic :*
  19. Blogger ZinZinQ8 posted at 12:58 PM  
    I've lived for considerable time periods in both Boston and DC and never did I notice rich kids snorting anything! DC likes to seem international but in the words of a Lebanese woman "shoo haidi! haidi day33a" (as in this is a village!) And I couldn't agree more about DC being excruciatingly DEAD. Uff I hate it I hate it...
  20. Blogger Purgatory posted at 1:56 PM  
    OK, I will rephrase

  21. Blogger Erzulie posted at 11:59 PM  
    Judy: :P~

    Zinzin: Ollah ollah...hate is a powerful word. I don't hate any city or location in particular...I'd probably hate being in the ocean with a white shark by my side...biggest fear...

    Purg: Same reason you look at a woman's ass...
  22. Blogger Kleio posted at 3:06 AM  
    zinzin: What I meant by "before DC became the new Boston" was that I lived there in the days before DC became as much of a hot spot for Kuwaiti students as Boston. In my day we were only a small handful. Now it's FULL!

    As for DC vs. Boston, I'll admit I like Boston a lot - I had some incredible and very memorable weekends there. Despite their relative proximity, they're two very different cities. But I much prefer DC. It does have a small town (or "village") atmosphere when you want it to, and it can also have a city atmosphere when you want it to. But to really know and love DC, the underbelly of the city, you have to have really LIVED there, been a full on Washingtonian (i.e. not a resident of Arlington or Alexandria).

    As for it being dead, I admit I haven't been back to visit in about two years but never did I ever feel the city was dead! In fact, it's one of the liveliest cities I've ever seen, and I currently live in London, one of the supposedly "liveliest" cities in the world! There's so much to do, and it's always bustling. Tell you what, hows about we meet up there one day and I'll show you MY DC...guaranteed to change your impression of it after one weekend. Deal? :)
  23. Blogger Caffeinated posted at 7:04 AM  
    I am partially grateful that many male Kuwaiti students have followed these stereotypes. Why? Because then I could evade them.
  24. Blogger ZinZinQ8 posted at 8:43 AM  
    Klei, you're on girl! BTW we might actually discover we know each other for real cuz it sounds like u were in DC around the same time I was in Boston and I knew some girls in DC back then :)
  25. Blogger Erzulie posted at 11:08 AM  
    Kleio: Inzain...oo ana!

    Caff: Dit-friggin-tooooooooo

    Zinzin: 6ale3! You go with Kleio! Ahh East Coast ble3! :P~~~~
  26. Blogger Purgatory posted at 4:21 PM  
    I do not!
  27. Blogger Erzulie posted at 4:25 PM  
    Purg: Why not?
  28. Blogger ZinZinQ8 posted at 5:49 AM  
    girl you know you dont need no invitation! i got u covered
  29. Blogger Kleio posted at 1:33 AM  
    zinzin: We might end up knowing each other, although I barely knew any of the Kuwaitis in DC while I was living there, let alone Boston! :) I knew a couple of people in Boston who I had gone to high school with, but I never really saw them in the States. But hey, you never know!

    And erzulie: Do you really need a formal invitation?! :) Yalla, we'll show you the East coast the way it's supposed be experienced!
  30. Blogger Erzulie posted at 2:37 AM  
    zinzin: Ok ok... :P

    Kleio: Lol! I was just pulling your leg :P I might end up there this Xmas though...hope my folks won't freeze...

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