Saturday, April 22, 2006

Erzulie Police

My family recently arrived from an exotic vacation. After adventures were recounted, my mother filled me in on the fabulous gifts she bought for me. I anxiously waited for the DHL package my brother shipped to arrive. I waited and waited, but nothing popped up. I tracked my package on DHL’s website and found out that my brother sent it to my previous ghetto address and that it had arrived there two days ago!

I was infuriated. I wanted my present! I called the shipper, my dear brother, and restrained myself from scolding him in an obvious manner, “You could have just called me and asked for my new address,” I fumed, “And I’m guessing the new resident is a tattered student. Even if you wrap up some crap they’ll still be happy to take it in.”

I called DHL and told them about the mishap. Their solution? “We don’t provide this service. We ship items to the address alone without checking identification. You should probably go there and retrieve it yourself.”
“Well, thanks a lot. I just want you to know that this is the last time I’ll be using DHL again.” Seriously, what kind of company sends it customers to do their dirty work? Plus, my old place is in a pretty shady area. What if the current resident of my old apartment is a serial killer? It’s a pretty sticky situation to be in. Also, it is illegal to simply show up at my old place and demand my package, since it is officially entitled to the person who lives there right now.

Does this stop the hot-headed Erzulian to quit?
Hell no. I want my damn gifts.
As soon as I finished class, I grabbed my friend (my designated bodyguard) and drove to the ghetto. He buzzed my old apartment, “Hello, this is DHL. There was a package delivered here two days ago by mistake.” The woman replied, “Ohh shit. Umm, okay hold on.” We took the elevator upstairs and I remained unseen behind the corner while my friend talked to one of the occupants of the apartment, a student in our university, “Uhh, no nothing arrived here. Sorry.”

I knew they were lying.
Fortunately, I knew the apartment manager. I called him up and explained my problem. “Well, they probably have it but maybe they were afraid to give it to you since they most likely opened it. This happened before so I’ll just put flyers up in the building and ask whoever took it to place it at my door, no questions asked. I’ll call you when something arrives”

I was not entirely convinced, but I went along with his flimsy scheme.
It has been two days. I considered calling the apartment manager, but thought against it. Just then, the phone rang. It was him! “Erzulie, you’re in luck. It was at my door by this morning.”
So, I’m heading over there in a bit to indulge myself in my colorful gifts. Moral of the story: Ditch DHL.

MF Doom & MF Grimm - Stress Box
Ozomatli - Nadie Te Tira
Daft Punk - Something About Us
Aphex Twin - Girl/Boy
Faithless - Miss You Less, See You More
Spokane - By the Bend

at 9:47 PM


  1. Blogger Sedna posted at 10:14 PM  
    Ekh bummer. DHL is way over-rated anyway! Use FedEx in future.

    Hope the package is intact and you get all your stuff :)
  2. Blogger Baroque posted at 12:15 AM  
    okay okay so u got it finally! ;P INZAIN WHAT DIDJA GET?

    kuwaiti balaqat shaf can't help it ;p
  3. Blogger Extinct Dodo posted at 1:24 AM  
    all's well that ends well :)
  4. Blogger Erzulie posted at 4:07 AM  
    Sedna: DHL sucks. It already has a bad rep. And I'm proud that I smeared it up more.

    baroque: Well, I JUST picked it up. There was a black, empire-waist top (I love black) and a dark mustard tank top with a matching light jacket on top. I could tell my mom picked the latter out because it looks so virginal :P But I'd say that the best piece is the little, tannish clutch; it's really simple, with an olive ribbon that holds the opening flap in tact.

    Extinct: Now, yes!
  5. Blogger Temetwir posted at 5:40 AM  
    walla yoba zain, sij de3la! im with Corporate on this one

    dhl = deliver to addresses, wohma elsajeen

    easiest way to defend THAT is by saying: think of it in terms of landlines.. yeah?
    they belong to an address.. not the person
    u know that already becoz u called ur ex-number .. thats the "service"
    why should this be any different?

    tell u what, call up the phone company and tell them u want ur ex-number for ur new place.. im just saying since ur at it y3ni hehe

    i sound like a (bad) lawyer
  6. Blogger Erzulie posted at 8:22 AM  
    Temetwir: 6ale3!
    Awal shay, DHL offered to provide me their service for taking back the package for a fee because it was considered a "Fraudulent Address." They actually do have this retrieving service, and I did take it but the apartment manager called me today fa mala da3ee for DHL butting in and muddling the situation up. Moreover, I spoke with maybe 5 DHL employees on the phone and three of them said they don't have this retracking service. Shows that they don't know their shit, and that makes them look like shit. De3la? Hehay...Well, I might do it on purpose to be prissy, but not when it comes to presents picked out by mamy herself! Wallah...Bad lawyer? No? DHL-biased/devil's advocate? Erm, YES!




  7. Blogger The Krispy Dixie posted at 9:06 AM  
    meskeena.... that sucks....

    at least u got ur stuff tho :D
  8. Blogger Jewaira posted at 10:56 AM  
    At least you got your stuff :)
  9. Blogger Purgatory posted at 12:56 PM  
    Your brother should have known better, it is his fault
  10. Blogger 3baid posted at 3:10 PM  
    *gives Erzulie some tissues for all the saliva* :P

    I know that with some services, if you realize that the address was wrong while it was still being tracked, you could divert it, but I dunno about DHL specifically :/
  11. Blogger A Daydreamer posted at 6:22 PM  
    ohhh what a story!!! you are one lucky gal, mashalalh! i wouldve prob. just gave up and just kept yelling at my brother lool

    and yeah, FedEx all the way baby!!
  12. Blogger ZiZoTiMe posted at 7:20 PM  
    @@ !! I thought DHL was the best, but after that... Lets ditch it all :)
    By the way what was your gifts again :P ?!
  13. Blogger Erzulie posted at 9:14 PM  
    Krispy: Yup...

    Jewaira: Heh, yes...

    Purgatory: Hehe :P

    3baid: *takes tissue* Yup, I know about that little thingi where you redirect the package. But I thought it was heading my way and not to the ghetto so...

    daydreamer: Heh, well I didn't yell but I was kinda irritated because it was my stuff ya3ny. And even though he sent it to my wrong address, I was mad at DHL for being wishy-washy. They go back and forth on their words and promises and I was pissed off at that.

    Zizo: Two grams. Kidding :P See my reply to baroque to know stuff :))
  14. Blogger Temetwir posted at 10:59 PM  
    "ooh really, thats the nicest thing anyone has ever told me"
  15. Blogger Erzulie posted at 3:53 AM  
    Temi: :P~

  16. Blogger Fedo posted at 4:14 AM  
    Once I shipped something to Saudi through USPS, the package was shipped to Hokkaido, Japan, instead. Beat that! :P
  17. Blogger Erzulie posted at 6:18 AM  
    Fedo: Crap that sucks! All right, you get my "Pissed Off" medal *hands the sparkling trinket to Fedo* :P
  18. Blogger Fedexisms posted at 1:16 PM  
  19. Blogger Erzulie posted at 11:45 PM  
    FedExer: Hehe, yup :P

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