The Irony of Nursing
My two friends and I were talking about our volunteer work that revolved mostly around hospitals and clinics. The conversation quickly shifted to nursing homes. Sara started to tell us about her experience, how she cared for the forgetful elderly dealing with Alzheimer’s, how family members’ visits diminished in time, and the absentminded nurse she helped fire due to her inhuman carelessness. “It was a little bit depressing though,” she continued while Julia and I nodded somberly, “but I think that’s where I’ll put my parents.”
My eyes widened. For a minute, I couldn’t recover from the shock of her blasé comment. Julia beat me to the punch, agreeing with Sara’s long-term plan, “Yeah, I would put my parents in a home too.”
Sara joked, “I keep telling my dad that I’ll put him away in a shabby home if he’s mean to me.”
“Are you serious?” I inquired quietly, “I mean do you guys really intend to put your parents in a nursing home?”
Sara turned to me, “Well, it’s just so hard here in the U.S. People move from state to state. It would be unrealistic to drag your parents around with you. Plus, it’s really costly to have someone at home to take care of them.”
I leaned against my chair, thinking about the probable financial as well as emotional hindrances Sara threw out while also mulling over the cultural differences that were being tossed around in Sara’s living room. “Well, it’s certainly different back home,” I replied, “I mean, it’s considered as somewhat of a shame to put your mother or father in a nursing home, no matter how posh it is, in my opinion any way.”
PS's Jack Johnson
Tomorrow Morning
Sitting, Waiting, Wishing
Walk Alone
at 7:07 AM
4 Comments
While I would never put my parents in a home, some are better off in one. I've seen/heard about family members who get so tired of taking care of their elderly parents/grandparents that they actually mistreat them.
Add on top of that family conflict where one side of the family doesn't talk to another, while the grandparent/ parent is staying with 'one side.' It hinders the others from visiting.
Unfortunately, society and families these days aren't like they used to be. Some parents might actually prefer to go to a home than stay with certain family members.
good post ......and also ur blog is nice ...
happy to be here
ur right, it is sad no matter how u look at it.. whether its cultural or otherwise, i really doubt that one can argue for the "benefit" of 'putting away ur parents' o a7santay u said it best "no matter how posh it is"
it sometimes gets 'technical' .. with "professional help" being tossed into the equation, that still doesnt make it right but it may open doors for some realistic discussions as to whether itd be plausible
and as MSB said, families rnt what (we're being told at least) they used to be .. ya maa nesma3 sowalef 3an eflan may3arf a3mama/khawala/ahala b sora 3aama le asbab matdesh el3agel.. mastab3ed tosal el mas'ala lel waldain unfortunately
definitely expand on this sub 7adha worth the discussion :)
msb: I too think that certain circumstances might bother the ageing parents more than their family who is taking care of them i.e. abuse (emotional, financial, sometimes even physical). Another thing is "Dar el 3ajaza" in Kuwait; whenever someone mentions it, I doubt that a positive feeling about the place would wash over anyone. To me, it sounds like neglect. But yeah, I guess specific situations (relatives, etc) should be placed into the equation...
Bo_Sale7: Heh, well...happy to have ya!
Temetwir: I agree. I look at it more as a convenient move rather than a concerned one. To me, it seems a bit unnatural and somewhat morally wrong. Aside from particular circumstances, I believe that one should take care of his/her parents just as they had reared them up when they were babes at home.
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