Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Dell. M7amad Dell.

The last time I was really mad - my kind of mad - was about a year ago. I was having trouble with my computer for about a month. At first, I dismissed the accumulating signs of my device’s demise. However one day, the darn thing stopped working.

I could not access my files. All my essays, projects, and other creations were in an unreachable stasis. I called the Dell Help Center a few times before this climactic day came along. After spending about two hours listening to bothersome machine operators and about three hours talking to so-called specialists, I felt a little, angry knot in my throat as I tried to blink away my warm, oh-so-unnecessary tears. I had been flung around and transferred to help centers from Texas & India to my final destination in Ontario, Canada.

Help Line: Hello, this is the Dell Help Cen-…
Me: Yes. I know who this is.

I furiously gave the man my address and computer registration information. Naturally, I had to give him a run down of my tragic happenings which ended with a disgruntled huff on my part.

Help Line: Hmm. Okay. Well, I will try to help you.
Me: (Sensing his familiar accent) Int min wein?
Help Line: (Silence)
Me: (Continuing my legafa) Aloo? Shismik?
Help Line: Aloo na3am. Ana ismee M7amad, min il Kwait.

Opahhhh! Well, to make the story short and sweet, M7amad is originally from Iraq and lived his entire life in Kuwait before the Gulf War. Afterwards, he moved to Canada with his parents and family and continued his studies there. He currently works for Dell and out of the probably thirty people I talked with, he was the only person who managed to straighten my problem out. And he sent me a complementary setup package (because I impulsively threw mine out) although my account expired a year ago.

Michael Dell, your customer service made me cry, punch the air, raise my voice, and throw my landline phone at the wall, creating a little grayish mark on the off-white surface which I had to cover up with blots of acrylic paint. If it was not for my savior M7amad, I would have converted a long time ago.

Maurice Galactica - Soiree
Bonobo - Terrapin [Mr.Scruff Remix]
Badly Drawn Boy - Osscilate Wildly
Mobius Band - The Lights Are Always On

at 3:58 AM


  1. Blogger don_veto posted at 7:07 AM  
    Sorry to hear about your comp problems, I am happy you got them solved by Bu Jassem. You virtually went half way around the world until an Arab rescued you.

    Like Mr. Friday said, "il 3roobi may mootshi..." (if you don't understand this, watch Bye Bye London).
  2. Blogger Purgatory posted at 7:30 AM  
    Dell is a delicate machine, you learn by accessing the help forum, where you will find answers to all your problems. Once your Dell is two years old, your problems will happen and that is a good time to start fooling around, using help tips from the forum and that way you learn more.
  3. Blogger CyberRowdy(Q8TechDrive) posted at 8:59 AM  
    The one you have is a stupid Optiplex one? or a funky Dimension series? The only best Dell machine I ever used is Precision ones...they are good workstation class systems...other dell prods sucks...
  4. Blogger Diver posted at 9:04 AM  
    don't u know that all problems start in Q8, and end there also
  5. Blogger Fedo posted at 7:37 PM  
    One word comes to mind: TOSHIBA!
  6. Blogger Erzulie posted at 7:54 PM  
    Don_Veto: Hehe, shda3wa "don't understand this" :P gelna naktib bil 3angalaizi bes 3ad moo leih hal daraja :P~~

    Purgatory: Where's the forum? When I had problems, I couldn't even access the Internet. But now, all is well :) Bes ay forum?

    Q8techdrive: Dimension 4600. It's all right. It looks like an antique; I have the chunky (and funky) tower, TV-like monitor, etc.

    diver: Hehe, maskeen. 3ad it9adig athen khara3ta lana kent em3a9ba oo seeda se'alta "int shismik," ba3ad moo nage9 ela agoola "min welda"

    fedo: Hmm...my friend has a laptop and she's complaining :/ If I'm going to get something, it's going to be fruity, a la Apple.
  7. Blogger don_veto posted at 10:14 PM  
    me sorry, me no english, me this ?


    What I meant was it might have been too old for you, but I forget that it is a classic just like darb il zalag and I reccomend mandatory testing for all before you get a jinsiya.

    Keep up your great posts.
  8. Blogger Temetwir posted at 10:43 PM  
    Me: (Sensing his familiar accent) Int min wein?
    Help Line: (Silence)
    Me: (Continuing my legafa) Aloo? Shismik?

    ^ lol

    but lemme get this straight, this happened a yr ago right?

    i get this 'feeling' as soon as i finish an essay, so while im sending it to one of my email accounts (backup akhrat zeman, khobrich) i always get the thought of 'shra7 yseer feeni etha sar shay bel laptop al7eeeeeeen b hal la7tha' :\
  9. Blogger kila ma6goog posted at 12:02 AM  
    رديتيني 9 سنين لي ورا

    أذكر أول ما رحت امريكا كنت ما أعرف أبطل الكمبيوتر

    قام الرومايت مالي قالي شوف يا فلان انا شريت القنفات و الصحون و المخدات, انت لازم تشتريلنا كميوتر حق الشقة

    طبعا انا كنت أيامها صمنديقة على طول قتله انشاءالله هاك الفلوس و روح نق الكميوتر اللي يعجبك

    و شرينا ديلل, طبعا ديل ميزته انه أرخص من الباجي و مواصفاته قوية لأنه التكلفة مالته قليلة لانهم ما عندهم شورومز و موظفين و هالسوالف

    لكن العلة لمن يخترب الديلل محد يرضى يجيسه و يصلحه, لا سيركت سيتي ولا بيست باي و لا وال مارت و لا حتى سيفواي

    محد يصلحه

    نصيحتي لك بطلي الييلو بايجز و دوري واحد لوكال يصلحه

    seach for some local mama and papa shop to fix it, thats what i did and they dont do much, just format ur hard drive:)

    IBM next time :)
  10. Blogger Erzulie posted at 12:22 AM  
    Don_Veto: Hehe :P Mandatory oo bes! And thanks :)

    Temi: Yup, a year ago. And me too! When I'm writing an essay, I quickly hit Save because one time the damn thing froze up and I almost committed suicide.

    Kila Ma6goog: IBM is too stiff. Funny story :P~ My friend is a computer engineer oo he comes in handy many a times :D
  11. Blogger Kthekuwaiti posted at 11:44 AM  
    The last computer I remember purchasing from a retailer was a Pentuim 66mhz from Dell back in 95 or something (laptops are a different story).
  12. Blogger Baroque posted at 4:56 PM  
    one word, actually 2 words ;p
    i've fallen in love with this laptop..

    as for the help centers i know what u mean, my laptop broke down in London and it was hell, trying to get a sane person on the other line.. by the way whats up with their customer satisfaction questions, the ones they ask when they allegedly "think" the problem has been solved..!
  13. Blogger Erzulie posted at 5:19 AM  
    KtheKwaiti: Wow that is a long time ago. Looks like you either handle your 'puters roughly or you have a pane glass case dedicated to your vintage collection. My PC now is okay. It looks like a TV. With a tower. If I need tech stuff, I sleepover at the library :P

    Baroque: You know what, I think I'm going to open up my own Dell Customer Service lana al7een 3ogb ma kalamt'hom 7ifatht kil il safety nets and problem fixers. Seriously, I remember them saying "Now put the..." and I would interupt "...I already put X where Y should be." Damn it. I feel the rage coming back...

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