Monday, April 10, 2006

Love in an Elevator

I have come across many characters in my building’s elevator. While there are a few I do not care for like the odorous stinkers and bothersome gawkers, there are some I look forward to seeing, because they’re generally nice while others are just nice to look at.

- The Waiters: Clara, a retired 70-something year old, always holds the elevator door even if you are 20 meters away. I appreciate her patience because it takes forever for the elevator to inch down to the frigid basement. However other times, I am just too darn tired to meet up with the wrinkled Clara who tries her best to push the stubborn door open while I’m scurrying towards her, fumbling with my keys, backpack, water bottle, and loose papers.

- The Deserters i.e. Il Nithala: Oh Mrs. Lonsford, I saw you punch the close button a million times, trying to escape sharing the lovely ascension even though I was inches away from squeezing in. If it was not for my 20 pound laundry basket, I would have leaped in there and eyeballed you all the way to the top.

-The Could-Have-Beens: Between the Waiters and Deserters is a gray, technical handful. Basically, the good-hearted bunch attempted to let you into the already closing door and actually pressed the open button, yet failed miserably. You catch a glimpse at their frank, sorrowful expression before the metal gate separates the risers from your disappointed, slightly impatient state of temporary stasis.

-The Studs: I come across these mouthwatering yuppies once in a blue moon. Whenever I am dressed up and ready to hit the town, I come across the Clara’s and their warm smiles. Whenever I look like I just rolled out of bed, I always (trust me on this one, always) encounter the sizzling men in my building. Why you ask? Because that’s just my luck. One day, for example, I was so hungry that I started eating my chicken fajita (courtesy of Chipotle) right there in the elevator. I entered the elevator alone on the basement level. The darn thing almost always does not stop at the ground floor, especially at 9:45 pm on a slow weekday. However this time, it did. And enter Mr. Universe and Mr. World. And what was I doing? I had my face stuffed with chicken and guacamole of course.

Aerosmith - Pink
Baby Huey & the Babysitters - Mighty Mighty Pt.2
Bob Dylan - 1913 Massacre
Bob Dylan & Johnny Cash - One Too Many Mornings
Queen - We are the Champions
Billie Holiday - Lover Man, Oh Where Can You Be

at 8:27 AM


  1. Blogger The Stallion posted at 11:20 AM  
    We have that here at work as well, except for the good looks! :oP

    As for Chipotle, I want some! I miss thier huge meals! I miss VA!
  2. Blogger Purgatory posted at 1:26 PM  
    She must be scared you have something in that basket
  3. Blogger A3sab posted at 1:50 PM  
    erzulie dont worry hon two hunks walking in the lift together are most probably gay. so no need to dwell on it.
  4. Blogger Temetwir posted at 3:03 PM  
    i agree with om mejrin
    if the 2 guys didnt ask what u were having or say something nice abt the food.. theyre gay as a pumpkin

    any self respecting homosexual knows they ain' nun mo appealin than meeting a just-out-of-bed looking girl on a weekday in an elevator eating chicken fajita, nuf said
  5. Blogger Dr.Lost posted at 7:36 PM  
    hehehe loooooooool :)
  6. Blogger The Krispy Dixie posted at 9:53 PM  

    It always happens that way doesn't!?

    Fate has a very wierd sense of humor :P

    its alright tho, the guys usually fall for the 'natural'-guacamole in the face look.... at least that's what happens in the movies :/

    Love in an elevator is a wicked song!

    love the first P.S. as well, u got good taste ;)
  7. Blogger Fedo posted at 10:46 PM  
    What's a "Clara?"
  8. Blogger Erzulie posted at 3:17 AM  
    Stallion: The elevator concept is universal, but depending on the culuture, door slamming can be a bit more in-your-face, literally. And Chipotle? *rubs fist on open palm* Hehehe ;P~~~

    Purg: Hmm. I should put something in there...thanks for the thought :)

    A3sab: No, they weren't "together," they just happened to come in together. I shouldn't have clarified this fact! :P~ But they're a sight for sore eyes, gay or not.

    Temi: Hehe, if you were with me in the elevator I think you would've turned away! What can I say, I was as hungry as a horse :P And was that you rapping? :P

    DrLost: :P~

    Krispy: Well, I was more like "mouth stuffed with my fat bite and trying to swallow it down while attempting to prevent that "GULP" sound from being too loud." Unfortunately, it was obvious. And thanks :)

    Fedo: A Clara is a symbol of the sweet, retired elderly that reside in my building.
  9. Blogger Shurouq posted at 1:25 PM  
    Another unpretntious, humorous, captivating piece :)
    Not to mention the art work!

    Publish publish publish
  10. Blogger 7tenths posted at 7:56 PM  
    Hahaha, cool approach to a daily hassle :) The only people I run into while ascending to ward 16/17 two steps at a time are suspiciously smug guys walking around.. A couple of seconds later my smell receptors kick in & I find out what's going on: those bastards are sneaking a fag!! No no, not fags like the ones you run into on your elevator, I mean the nicotine variety (cigarettes) :P I try to stare those chimneys down as hard as I can, but eventually a potential insult escapes my lips as 'Salam' to which the reply with an eager '3aliakum il salam!'.. Someday I'm gona push one of them down.. Not down the stairs! Just onto the floor, no use disciplining a dead man! (I'm kidding btw..)
  11. Blogger Erzulie posted at 12:49 AM  
    Shurouq: Haha, thank you :) And publish what!

    7tenths: Hehe, I feel that ever since my "Hehe, whoa" comment on your "Maids get Made" post you've started to clarify the humorous intentions under your comments :P Hey doc, you should help ban cigs in hospitals...Seriously...
  12. Blogger ScarlO posted at 5:22 AM  
    I'd rather see Claras all the time. No studs, thank you. Perhaps deserters would make things a bit exciting, like I can flip them the biridie and say something mean .. and then, I don't know, lol.

    Nice post :-D melikes your drawings, too.

    (And whatever happened to the purgy adventures?)
  13. Blogger Baroque posted at 9:44 AM  
    hehe someone has to research this so called phenomena of "looking good yet seeing no one distinct, and looking bad and seeing everyone"..

    i think its one of those universal paradoxes or something ;p
  14. Blogger Erzulie posted at 12:53 PM  
    Scarlo: Hmm...Yes...maybe more Purgatorian Adventures but he put my initial cartoons to shame when he went to *deep breath* Sakura! :P
    The studs just make my day; it's fun to be the objectifier for once! :P

    Baroque: I know! Good point :)
  15. Blogger 3baid posted at 1:15 AM  
    I hate being one of the Could-Have-Beens. Damn elivator won't stay open :/
  16. Blogger Erzulie posted at 7:57 PM  
    3baid: Could-have-beens have weird's like "Ahhh!" with a pathetic, puppy face. Or "Ooooh!" and they raise their eyebrows and widen their eyes, so they're face looks strange and abnormally contorted.


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