Monday, May 01, 2006

International Ditz

Sometimes, I deliberately play the part I proudly call “The International Ditz.” It may be because I aspire to be an actress in my next life, or in this case, to weasel my way out of a speeding ticket.

Red, blue, and white lights blind me. My friend interrupts my conversation and says, “Yo Erzulie, pull over, it’s a cop.” So I do. I observe the policeman walking toward me with his beaming flashlight. I lower my window and look up at him, cocking my head slightly to one side and giving him a confused, doe-eyed gaze.

“Miss, was there any reason you were sailing down an inner street at 60 miles per hour?” I study his face, part my lips, and consciously brush away any hint of an American accent, “Ummm…not really.”
My dutiful, slightly flustered friend hands over my registration from the glove compartment and I calmly give the document to the cop, along with my license. I continue eyeing him as he studies the paperwork.

“Were you in a hurry to get anywhere?” He looks up from my records. Our eyes lock. I knew right then I was off the hook, “I’m going back home,” I cooed while purposely stressing on my forced accent.
He cleared his voice and mumbled, “Well, next time slow down. Have a good night Erzulie.”

“Oh thank you officer!” I closed my window, turned to my friend – whose jaw hit the floor- and raised a mocking eyebrow along with a smirk.
I think my buddy said “YOU LUCKY ASS!” a million times that day.
Sometimes, being a girl pays off. In this case, it got me out of a $500 ticket. Ah well, c’est la vie boys ;)

MF Doom Special Blends Ft. Erykah Badu - On & On
Common Ft. Erykah Badu - The Light
DJ Shadow - Six Days [Remix by Mos Def]

JASEfos Ft. Claire Van Der Boom - Do What U Want
Ahmet Ertenu - Why
ToneDepth & Soultan - Moments
Solarstone & JES - Like a Waterfall

at 2:07 PM


  1. Blogger Temetwir posted at 2:46 PM  
    so, sex not only sells
    it also saves
  2. Blogger Sedna posted at 2:50 PM  
    Not only does it sell and makes alllll the difference ;)
  3. Blogger Erzulie posted at 3:48 PM  
    Temetwir: Who says anything about sex? It's mere human manipulation :)

    Sedna: Well, I was only thinking about my checking account when that sucker pulled me over...Gotta save, gotta save...And slow down as well :)
  4. Blogger 7tenths posted at 3:55 PM  
    Over here all you gotta do is remotely look female to pull of that 'ditz' maneuvre :P I sure could've used you during my tafteesh encounters, especially this one time.. :P (add this to your evergrowing list of 'Things I Will Never Know About 7' ;P)
  5. Blogger The Stallion posted at 4:14 PM  
    You big tease! :oP
  6. Blogger The Krispy Dixie posted at 10:09 PM  
    u go girl ;)
  7. Blogger 3baid posted at 11:30 PM  
    I can't imagine what this situation would've been like with female cops.
  8. Blogger Erzulie posted at 12:39 AM  
    7tenths: SPILL! NOW!

    Stallion: Desperate times... :P

    Krispy: :P~~

    3baid: Ah yes, with female cops it's good to tear up a bit (I have to practice) and claim that one's erratic driving is due to breaking up with a cheating boyfriend. Haven't tried that one yet but if I ever do, I'll be sure to post about it :P
  9. Blogger f_ posted at 3:39 AM  
    AHHHHH, F$#@! I HATE IT WHEN THAT HAPPENS! NOT FAIR! We can't weasel our way out of one, even if it was a female officer and I was a CK underwear model!
  10. Blogger f_ posted at 3:54 AM  
    Btw, Tiesto's "In Search Of Sunrise 5: Los Angeles" is already out, if you're interested. (I didn't know you listen to Trance!)
  11. Blogger Erzulie posted at 5:28 AM  
    Fedo: Nyahaha! >:D Ah well I think you got that wrong though; female officers are lenient with's a bit hard for us gals to get out of a ticket issued by a female cop unless we come up with an impromptu sob story...And I listen to everything, I just didn't know what others listened to so I was a bit hesitant on including some trancey stuff :))
    I wanna go to Sensation White & Black in Amsterdam; that's one of my goals, among other things :)
  12. Blogger UzF posted at 6:00 AM  
    wow! way to go!
    i think a guy pulling off this trick would be taken to the INS or something. It's tempting to try though!
  13. Blogger Mohammad Al-Yousifi posted at 3:26 PM  
    first i miss the states

    second i think ur in the west side

    if u were in the EAST side ull not get away with it

    easter cops are bad

    o ba3den meta betshelen el araf el word verefication!
  14. Blogger ZinZinQ8 posted at 6:20 PM  
    Way to go Erz. I wouldn't take the risk of speaking with a foreign accent in case the person is racist or anti-immigrants in general. But I do pretend I'm this poor young confused student and I sometimes mention that I used to drive in this other state (where I did my undergrad)which was so different. And beleive it or not, this has worked with BOTH MEN AND WOMEN cops h3h3h3h3h3h3
  15. Blogger ZinZinQ8 posted at 6:21 PM  
    Hun why do u have a handicapped sing next to your word verification?
  16. Blogger Erzulie posted at 9:29 PM  
    UZF: You never know!

    Kila Ma6goog: La I like word verification. Just pronounce it like a word when you're typing it. Wana moo bil east wala bel west fa rahyeen el cops shway :P

    Zinzin: Madry laish 3indi handicap! Anyway, I don't talk in some sort of accent bes you know how, for example, fee nafs egolon "waterrr" and they roll their "R's" and then Americans say "wa'ur" Fa ana I sorta force myself to enunciate every letter so as to be...that foreign driver :P
  17. Blogger f_ posted at 10:39 PM  
    Paul van Dyk was the main attraction in the last Sensation White in Amsterdam.
  18. Blogger Baroque posted at 11:23 PM  
    erzulie u're always getting into mis'haps and drama... i like you!
  19. Blogger Erzulie posted at 4:44 AM  
    Fedo: I was really close to seeing him one time (not in Amsterdam) but I was a week early! :/ Yalla mara thanya :)

    baroque: Haha :P All in a day's work :)
  20. Blogger don_veto posted at 3:24 PM  
    A friend of mine studying in the states got stopped for speeding, the cop asked him for his license and registration and my friend replied with a dumbfounded look on his face, "no english", the cop tried and tried, and still same answer from my friend, "no english", so the cop said partially to himself, "ok I got to take you to the police station for a translator", all of a sudden my friend remembered all his english.

    That shows, guys have no advantages :-(
  21. Blogger Erzulie posted at 7:23 PM  
    don_veto: Ah yes, the infamous "No English" line. Well, it seems that your friend is really unlucky because I know some guys here that have pulled that line off successfully.

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